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    • #104376
      Butterfly3
      Participant

      So the council have offered me a house for me and my children and I’m just so relieved and over the moon. It’s in a good location for us. In the same county but not too near to my soon to be ex. They’ve told me it has repairs and work to be done before we can move. So now my head is spinning as I haven’t actually thought about how to move if that makes sense? In my head we would get a moving van and move everything whilst he was at work as he works some late nights so we could do it but with lockdown he is at home full time and its looking like July for him to go back. He’s being awful right now and the thought of waiting over a month makes me feel ill tbh. I guess I never really had a plan as such as now I think about it I cant even afford a moving company and I couldn’t lift furniture on my own. I want to take our sofa and beds as I’m already going to have to find money for cooker, washing machine and carpeting as a minimum so I wanted to take what I could. Has anyone been in this position? What did you do? I’ve fought so hard for me and the children so I could leave in a way that was the least distressing to them as possible and I know we are so lucky bot to go to a refuge and run in the middle of the night. I just don’t know how to go about it all. I’ve de cluttered massively through lockdown so moving our things will be easier. I don’t have any friends and family to help due to being isolated which is the main stressor for me. Thank you for reading. I’m scared and nervous but happy too

    • #104378
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      That is FANTASTIC news, well done for taking this huge step towards a happier and brighter future for you all.

      I take it your abuser does not know you are planning to go at this time? Is your move going to be done during the day without his knowledge?

      Google DA Support services for the town/county you live in and see what voluntary support they have to assist with moving. I know in my area there is a place that takes donated, good quality house hold items, including electrical and furniture that they sell very cheaply to victims of DA who are moving on. Also, join up to a local Facebook page in the area you are moving to and see if anyone is giving anything away for free. Only a couple of days ago on my local FB group someone was offering a load of household furniture for free and it looked lovely. I thought to myself “if only I knew of a DA lady who was in the process of starting a new home this would be ideal.”

      When I got my own place I furnished it with second hand furniture, the only exception of what I bought brand new was my son’s single bed. My own bed was second hand – a bargain on Ebay that I paid £34 for and had been used as a guest bed only in a beautiful home. The mattress was immaculate, it was as good as a brand new bed. I got a three seater sofa with a matching two seater sofa for £60, again immaculate. My washer/dryer was £50 from a second hand electrical company. My dining table and chairs with matching TV unit, wall unit, book case and desk £200 from a private sale and they even delivered it to me for free.

      As long as you have the basics of a home the happiness comes from the freedom within and you can build it up again at your own pace. This will be positive for the children too as they can perhaps pick the new colour scheme for their bedrooms and have some say in what they want (if they are old enough to), they can choose where the bed goes etc. Hard is it may be for you, you can make it seem exciting for the children. I’m so pleased for you that you have a safe place to move to, well done x

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