This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Donkey 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #85346
     Donkey 
    Participant

    Can anyone advise me how to stick to my guns. A (detail removed by moderator) was major emotional abuse all night with my newborn baby upstairs. I made the decision. No more. Plan to go back to home town and plan from there. Now I’ve got Mr nice. The one I fell in love with. Any advise? I have to be stronger than this for my little one. I’ve tried to leave twice before and he’s manipulated me back.

  • #85355
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    It’s not the real “him”. It’s the one he puts on display to reel you back in. Make a list of some of the really bad things he did and how it made you feel. Read it when you’re feeling susceptible to mr false-nice. I kept journals that I go back to. Less frequently now, but when the fog comes again it helps remind me that mr false-nice is the person I wanted to be with and he’s hardly there, it’s the nasty side we get for the majority of the time. I hope you find the strength to go back to your family and stay away. Go no contact. Let’s us know how it goes, we’re all here for you. Xx

  • #85360
     KIP. 
    Participant

    You have to just by pass the emotions. Take that leap of faith and go. Don’t wait for Mr Nasty to show up. Abusers sense when we have had enough and put in the charm and love bombing. He senses you’re leaving and will change tactics to keep you. It’s worked before. Don’t tell him you’re going. That’s the only reason he’s being nice. If you stick to your decision you will soon see Mr Nasty. You’re being manipulated and the fear of saying no to him is really strong. Get up and go now if you have the strength as I have a bad feeling he won’t let you leave once the day comes x

  • #85398
     Donkey 
    Participant

    Thankyou for your responses. I have successfully managed to get through 24 hours not being manipulated back in by him and it’s due to this forum and the helpline so Thankyou. One night to go of pretending everything is ok. I think his reaction will come when he realises im not coming back with his daughter. I’ve never been able to second guess him.

  • #85400
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    Well done donkey. Keep going you’re almost there xx

  • #85404
     Donkey 
    Participant

    Thankyou hunky dory xx

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