Leaving: practicalities of divorce and financials (protecting pensions)

[Breathe]

Hi there
goodness, getting to today has been such a long road. Years of self doubt, realising it’s abuse, trying counselling (me only), deciding to leave but trying again, now finally ready to leave. I am sure may of us go through this and it’s such a hard journey.

Following advice I will be filing for non-mol and occupation orders, CAO and special issue orders (these without notice if the court agrees). Also for divorce and financial consent order. Trouble is, it’s not like we can sit down and agree the finances. But I want to be free of this as quickly as possible now.

Has anyone had experience of being granted their pension in full (given no savings on partners side and abuse); or experience of agreeing 50/50 cost split of specific child costs (e.g. medical, school uniforms and trips, childcare around work, language classes for a multicultural family)?

Many thanks

[KIP.]

Get all your ducks in a row before you begin. Most solicitors offer free initial advice so visit three and see what they say. The details of the divorce are different from country to country but you can guarantee he will make it difficult so start gathering all the documentation you need now. Pensions, mortgages, saving, shares etc. The split begins from the separation date so get everything you need before that date. Keep gathering as much evidence of his abuse as you can for the non mol. When I divorced they weren’t interested in abuse it was purely financial.

[Anonymous]

I agree with KIP. See a solicitor and gather your documents together. My understanding is that abuse is largely irrelevant to financial matters.
The starting point in a divorce is a division of 50/50 of all assets including pensions. See a solicitor to get advice on the specifics of your case.

[Author]

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