Leaving v soon but child contact plan advice….

[Rubymurray]

When i have left (which is very soon in theory), what do I say about contact with little one?

If I’m taking the car initially, and I don’t want him to know my new address either, then I imagine I’ll be taking & collecting little one when sees her and I could do without seeing him but I suppose I will have to, what choice do i have….?..?… esp wth covid, can’t easily ask someone else to help with this….??

It’s something that I need to have clear in my head beforehand too, so that I look like I’m organised reliable and also in control of course. I don’t want to stop them having a relationship, I feel that would cause harm at this stage, but as I see it I will be with little one much more in theory…and take from there….

[Lottieblue]

Hi there Ruby,
I don’t have the answers for you, I’m afraid, but I know that there are answers and I know that someone will be along with them, so I’m bumping you up.
I think you’re amazing by the way.
LottieB x

[Rubymurray]

🙂🙂🙂🙂😊😊 thank you lovely xx

[diymum@1]

think i can help – so youll need to arrange a contact centre for handovers and pick ups.If you end up with a court order this is still seen as being reasonable by the courts. i just said i was removing myself from the situation because he was abusive towards me infront of the child. WA say that this is now classed as child abuse. if you down load the pdf of why does he do that look at the chapter about domestic abusers and their parenting. this will open your eyes and rightly so for the sake of your child. in a non abusive situation its the best thing for kids to have two loving parents. in an abusive situation its has proven to be more detrimental to kids. you can keep him at arms length now at this stage u dont have to see him as the centre will do staggered drop offs. ie he attends first goes into another room while you bring the wee one into another room the staff take her through to dad. im not sure what he has done but emotional abuse is just as bad all round for your child as physical. u could always ask for supervised contact. u probably are better doing this through court then its set in stone. id avoid family members doing the handovers this dosent tend to work. third party to take emails and essential calls from him can be a calm way to deal with him. these men can get worse post separation so id keep him away now (from you while your getting the chance) sounds dramatic but ive tried and tested this these guys dont stop until theyre made to by court xx love diymum

[diymum@1]

you will need to ask about your address. i left mines in but at this point he was too scared to come near as the police had been involved. maybe someone else can help that has managed to keep their address anon xx

[Rubymurray]

Thanks for replying @diymum@1

Where do i go from here then……

I will have to be doing all this in the next week too it sounds like….

So do i need to visit a solicitor asap & also therefore need a load of money (im not entitled to legal aid in my circumstances)

If its just a court order for contact at this initial stage, is that a smallish possible solicitor fee then in theory?

[diymum@1]

You could self represent – at no cost ? X I’d get yourself out first then start with child contact once things are settled xx

[Rubymurray]

But if i have an opportunity go go very soon… i just dont know how to play those hours & days after & the week ahead, him demanding to see child, him stating i cant keep child away from him,etc etc

Could i Play on me & child needing time out , its so bad for child to hear any more verbal abuse towards me & between us and that im making the decision to not expose child to it…. and hope that gives me some breathing space & time (that would also give me the space to settle in new place and seek more advice)…

i could let them speak on the phone at the very least at this stage……???

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