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I finally left, but the abuse I’ve been getting afterwards has me feeling so weak and confused. Due to being a religious person I have agreed to a meeting as hubby still denies ever saying or doing anything wrong to me n is crying to my family of how he’s been cheated and made out to be a rapist or a murderer the way I’ve left behind his back with the kids.
Some days I just want to disappear all together, and other days I just want to turn back the clock and not left at all because everything of everything turning out so differently than I had thought.
I never thought he would scream and shout and cry to make me go back to him. I never thought he would still use financial blackmail and not give us a penny. I never thought he would blatantly deny everything single thing he has said and done and make me out to be a crazy spiteful person to everyone.
The more days that pass the more paranoid I’m becoming about my life with him…….
I just want to find a hole and never come out if it again…….. I never thought that I would wish to turn back the time and just keep living the way I was, even though I was still living a lonely depressing life……
I really really thought that once I’ve left him he would realise his mistakes, regret it and beg for forgiveness and actually change his behaviour, but instead he keeps giving me 2 options, divorce or to go back quietly and pretend none if this ever happened, but there’s no in between option such as even just giving me some breathing space to think and get myself together…… -
This is absolutely typical abuser behaviour and the worst thing you can do is to meet up with him. Any contact brings confusion, mind games and manipulation. And they are experts at that. As painful as it is, my advice is to stay total zero contact. You have the right to decide who you allow into your life. You have the right to say no more. Enough is enough. You are not welcome in my life. You bring total destruction. You gaslight and bully and manipulate and have one agenda, your own. Contact me via a solicitor. What your feeling is a human craving for what used to be your normal. As human beings we crave what is familiar. Even if it’s abuse or violence. Only with time will you be able to break this trauma bond. I promise it gets easier with time and zero contact. I don’t recognise the abuse victim I was only a few years ago. There is life after abuse. You just need to take that leap of faith. You know he’s abusive. You lived through it. Don’t minimise. You deserve better. Zero contact x
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Hi there i just want to let you know they’re are people here who believe you and are proud of you for getting out. I totally agree wirh kip, you have to go zero contact. Giving him the slightest chance to still have control over you is going to still be so very harmful. You got out, now stop letting him control you. Your faith isn’t why you’re giving him this chance, it’s your compassion. I’m not sure if you have any children thats why you’re still seeing him. Did you have help from wa getting out. If not, ready out to them, he is still very much advising you. Don’t, please don’t go back. He will get worse. Best of luck and keep posting.
Wishing you all my strength and love of your Lord to help you in this. In the bible it says that once your husband chooses to abuser his love for you, in the eyes of God,He would not want you to stay in that relationship.
IWMB 💕💕 -
It doesn’t sound like meeting him is a good idea. And I am pretty sure God would understand that. You are not the person who broke their vows, he is. You tried your hardest to make things work. He abused you and your trust. He’s told you that he will never respect you or your marriage by telling you to come home quietly or get divorced. I know it isn’t what you hoped for, but that isn’t your fault. Ultimately it is his choice how he acts, and he has not been acting like a husband for a long time. He is furious at you for exposing this, but he the one who actually ended the relationship by being abusive. You will need a solicitor for the divorce, so you can cut contact and get everything done via them. This will help clear your mind and make you stronger, as unfortunately he is going to try to continue bullying and manipulating you with every tool he has as long as he had any kind of access to you.
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