Left!!

[Beautifulinside]

I recently left my financially abusive partner over a trivial matter. We never spoke about what he was doing to me by with holding moneys so I was unable to care for our child. Since then he has phoned me several times a day to check on our son. Still finishes every conversation with I love you. He has been coming to my mothers to see his son regularly but he stays in the house with him. Never takes him anywhere. He still holds all the money. He is still signing on as a couple and housing benefit as a couple. When I talk to him about me signing on myself he just says I’m signing off in two weeks but if you sign on it will be everyday and I’ll only get 45 pound for being a single mother. So why don’t you leave it as it is and il support you. The flat he is living in is still in both of our names. I don’t know how to get out of this. It feels worse than when we were together sometimes. Please advice is welcome.

[Anonymous]

Hi,

You need to get onto Social Security explain the situation and that you are no longer together you must make a claim in your own right this will then force his hand as they will stop his money and he will have to reclaim too. You have to have money to survive and then go to the housing unless you are planning on staying with family long term. You will get more money as a single parent it is more than £45 and you will get child tax credits and family allowance for your child. It has to be better than the situation you are in now. Go online search benefit rates and you will see. If he has to sign on everyday that really is his problem, you have to do what is best for you and your child. xx

[Healthyarchive]

Dear beautiful, I can’t help thinking that he is keeping in control despite you no longer living together. Can you talk to him,lay down some rules and boundaries, there is no need for him to be dictating expenditure now. One of the main reasons I broke it off with my ex was his attitude to money, his meanness knew no bounds. His role model growing up was even worse,he ruled the family, kept them all in sheer poverty whilst he lived like a king. My ex was very stingey , I never got anything, never taken out,he withheld food and drink & punished me if I took any. We paid 50/50 on everything which I didn’t really mind but every once in a while it would have been nice to have been treated.

[Beautifulinside]

Thanks for the advice. He is coming to see our son tomorrow so I will try and talk to him. When ever I do he always over rules. I was hoping to keep it friendly due to ourson. I do t think that will happen some how. Thanks.

[Author]

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