Legal stuff

[seaglass]

Hi, I have a telephone appointment with a solicitor this afternoon but I am now panicking as I don’t really even know what I should be asking. Any suggestions as to what is useful to know please? I haven’t told him that the school is aware so maybe I need to know if I have to disclose that? The house we live in belongs to my family so he has no hold over that. But I’ve frozen again so feeling guilty. Thanks for any help.

[iliketea]

Definitely start writing a list.
What do you want to know? Just some suggestions below, don’t answer them on the forum, just ideas for you to think about.

**Very important to know straight up whether the call is charged or free, and how long do you have until they start charging you. I got caught out with a meeting, where the solicitor went on, said she could go on, and then tried to charge me £550 for it and an email summary that SHE suggested doing. They shouldn’t be charging you unless you have signed a Terms of Business…Understand their fees and what this includes, costs for emails, letters, phone calls – Solicitors LOVE to talk…especially if you’re paying them to!**

1) If its your family’s home then do you want him to move out – ask how that would work? A warning letter to say that he has been abusing you and you want him to leave and point out he has no rights to live there? Or an Occupation Order and a Non-Molestation Order? Look these up on Rights of Women website and it will explain what they are but a the solicitor will explain anyway as these are standard in an abusive situation.

2) I guess if you’re married then you’ll want to know about divorce?

3) If you’re married do you own any property together?

4) If you’re not married and have children what do you need to be considering? Maintenance from him to support the children, so they’ll ask how much he earns, you can do this calculation on line too yourself.

5) If there’s been rape, physical violence – do you want to pursue it through the criminal court and have him charged?

6) If its coercive control – do you want to pursue it through the criminal court?

7) What evidence do you have, diaries, recordings, text messages, videos…

8) They’ll ask you a timeline of your relationship so jot that down, key events, what the abuse is

9) Any professionals involved – GP appointments (medication for you – effects on your health and well being, physical and mental), DA services

10) Effects on your children – effects at home/Effects at school – does he do it in front of them? Do they know? See? Hear? In your opinion is it effecting your children – has their character changed? More angry, more clingy, can’t sleep, nightmares etc
These last 3 are really important to think about

Hope it goes well. Don’t feel guilty, all you’re doing at this stage is finding out your rights and legal position, this is a very sensible thing to do, and quite normal. You didn’t expect to have got together with someone who was going to abuse and belittle you and wear you down. It is totally fine to try and find out how you can end the relationship.
x

[seaglass]

Thank you, this was a free chat but I have now booked a telephone appointment with a fixed fee. I will get my list together! Thanks again.

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