- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I received a handwritten letter from him today. He was sweet in some things then he switched to abuser mode. I realise how desperate he is to talk to me. I am tired of him and his excuses. He said he is going to therapy to help us to get back to how we were before his temper started BUT that if I didn’t push his buttons he wouldn’t react like he did so I need to accept responsibility as well for him.
I really wish he would leave me alone as when I saw his handwriting I shook with fear and dread.
On another note. I saw a little message to Santa from my middle child saying all they want for Christmas is to be back home with daddy.
This is going to be a fun Christmas
-
💐
I’m sorry. You’re probably like me and protected your child as much as you could from what was going on.
-
-
Do you have a non molestation order. If you did, he could be arrested for this harrassment, which is what it is. It will continue and probably get worse. I’d report the contact to the police. It’s nit safe for you to reconcile and the kids need to know this won’t happen. Kids are more resilient than you think. As long as they have you as their rock they don’t need an abusive father that uses them and refuses to pay for them. Stay strong and do something about blocking all direct contact. Keep reporting him, that is stalking and harrassment and there are laws that were hard fought for to protect you and your children x
-
(detail removed by moderator) I had to call the police as he was at my door shouting and demanding to see me and the kids. I can’t believe he told the police he had done nothing wrong to me. I saw the male police officer looking suspicious at him but nothing was done to him.
He was just told to get on his way. I had the kids hanging onto me, they were so scared and he told them mummy has done this to us naughty mummy. This were through the letterbox. The female told me about a local battered woman shelter and i am thinking of going to one but it’s so close to Christmas.
-
Would it be so bad to be in a refuge over Christmas? I think I would prefer it to worrying about my abuser coming to tell at my kids through the letter box? I am assuming that your kids would be able to come too? It also sounds like you need to get a legal order to keep him away from you and your house. I know it’s the last thing you want to have to add to the workload in the run up to Christmas, but it’s best to be safe. I guess the other option might be to go and visit family or friends for the holidays with your kids, and without telling your abuser? So you knew you would get peace from him for a week or two? Maybe try and get some advice from Woman’s aid?
-
Speak to women’s aid about a non molestation order with a power of arrest. Get back in touch with the police and ask them to issue him with a harrassment warning. It only takes one incident for an arrests and he’s had that. I know it’s scary and a refuge might be a good idea but I chose to stand my ground and kept reporting him to the police and got a non molestation order (equivalent in my country). Why should I run and hide. It’s your decision but I knew after the refuge if I went there I would have to face things anyway.
-
-
I have a property to move in in (detail removed by moderator).
I am thinking of the refuge as he won’t be able to get at me. I have been staying with my sister and brother in law and it doesn’t seem fair to keep putting on them because of him, putting up with him banging on their door.
I have been back to the police to report domestic violence and I am still waiting for them to come.
-
Well done. It’s important to report every incident. Talk to your sister and brother in law. I would want you to stay with me rather than a refuge if I was your sister however for your own peace of mind it might be worth going into a refuge if they have a space for a few weeks to catch your breath and get help from the professionals. A new place in (detail removed by moderator) sounds great. A fresh start. Just make sure your ex doesn’t get the address. If you have a car then make sure he hasn’t put a tracker on it. Or that of your sister. You’re doing really well. I know how difficult it is for you but his behaviour just tells you that you’re doing the right thing x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
