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In (detail removed by moderator) days time I get the keys to my new place. In (details removed by moderator) days time I will be gone for good. So I leave him a letter explaining why I am leaving? I have to try to make my leaving day as “normal” as possible ie being in the phone to him whenever. I am going to invent something that keeps me busy at work all day – a course or something. Then he can’t expect me to be on the phone very half an hour.
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Welldone with taking that step and good luck with everything, I hope your move day goes as smoothly as possible.
Personally, I did leave a letter the first time I left. It was helpful to get my thoughts down on paper to him.
An explanation could be good, but also be prepared to expect his reaction – my ex made out how shocked he was and told me he would change… I believed him, went back and he didn’t change.
Maybe think about changing your number etc if you don’t need to have any future contact with him? -
I’m pretty sure he’ll know why, although he’ll deny it.
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You owe him nothing. Personally I wouldn’t bother. He will know why you’re leaving but will invent his own reasons and probably use them to drag you back into it so walk away and make sure there are no loose ends. You don’t wAnt to have any contact at all going forward. So perhaps a text saying you ha e left, won’t be back and please do not contact me. That way if he starts bombarding you, you have evidence. I’d also change my number once you’ve sent that text. If you want to write a letter to get your thoughts down then that’s a good idea but I wouldnt send it. It will fall on deaf ears and is another excuse to drag you back into dysfunction. Zero contact is the way forward. Well done x you deserve better x
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I didn’t write a letter, but I wish I had, or at least had a solicitor send him a letter. My ex didn’t know I’d left as he was away at the time, and he saw that I had deleted a tracking app from my phone, then thought that I was cheating on him and got really angry. I wrote an email which I was going to send to him, but I was told not to by the police, a solicitor and a support worker. But a few months later, after he continued harassing me, the police then said that it wasn’t harassment because I hadn’t told him that the relationship was over (I thought it was pretty obvious, as I’d taken most of my things with me, wasn’t replying to any of his messages and my family repeatedly told him that it was over). If I’d sent him a letter or email, they might have been able to stop the harassment, which continued for months.
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I’ve actually gave my oh 5 letters, which he’s now informed me that he’s got problems reading and writing which made me nearly fall off my chair. They will say and do anything to Get you back once they realise you are gone. Make sure you have absolutely everything you want and need. My oh came into a relative’s house on some pretext making out he didn’t know I was there. I still have no idea how he knew I was there, anyway long story short. I’d left with no intention of having any further contact, I’m still not living with him but he’s so not accepting they we are over. That will only happen with absolutely no contact, which il only be senile to do once I’ve moved out of the area.
Take care and the very best of luck
IWMB 💞💞 -
Best of luck on your moving day. I hope it goes smoothly; it sounds like you have everything under control.
I personally wouldn’t leave a letter. I would send him a text to say that you are leaving and won’t be back, then block his number to prevent any abusive comebacks once he realises that you’ve gone. No contact is best; just move into your new place and make a fresh start 🙂
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