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My husband systematically told me from Day 1 in our relationship that his stepdad physically and mentally abused him as a teenager. Now, after living and believing his lies for all these years, I’m wondering if any of it was true. I conveniently didn’t meet his mum and stepdad until AFTER we were married. He cashed in on my pity big time. I was so blind.
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It’s confusing, isn’t it. trying to sift the truth from all the lies? They say being abused can affect some people in a way that causes them to become abusers, however not all abused people do.
It could be that there’s a nugget of truth that he’s embroidered, then again it could be entirely made up for attention.
Whether he was abused or not, it is no reason, and no excuse to do that to someone else. -
It seems to be fairy common that they lie about their past abuse.
Mine told me he’d been abused by his ex wife, that she’d physically attacked him and scarred him, he showed me the scar. He was scared of her. He feared she’d arrive at our house, crash our wedding and cause a scene etc etc etc.
It was all lies. He was the abuser. He battered and bruised her. “She was clumsy” she’d told my in-laws, walked into things. He attacked his firstborn as a teenager and hit them so hard across the head they blacked out. He was scarred by a family member – this wasn’t a lie – he was hit by a sharp object as his middle child tried to stop him from hurting them. There was a restraining order in place, children were on child protection plan and he couldn’t see them. He told me she kept them from him. More lies.
I felt so sorry for him. Mug that I am!
I found this all out from my step children when they were older, they’d tried to reconcile with him, tried to forgive him but he continued to emotionally and financially abuse them. They told me the truth when I had to tell them their sister and I were leaving him as we were scared of him. We got off lightly.
I find it incredibly hard to trust or believe anything anyone tells me any more. -
My ex told me his last two girlfriends abused him. He was convicted of DA while I was with him. He then went to see a psychologist who told him he had PTSD. I only have his word for it but Nornslky you would receive a written report.
Suddenly he had a reason for his abusive behaviour.his parents were delighted- our son isint abusive he had PTSD, it’s not his fault. I got sucked into his trauma big time and he abused me for years- but it’s not his fault said no sane person ever.Keep your eyes open.
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