Life after abuse: Who can I talk to?

[Lemonnaise]

Are there any organisations I can call who deal with recovery from and life after abuse? I got out of my situation, but I’m still living in hell because while I’m physically free, I’m still dealing with the aftermath. While I was in my absuive nightmare, I called Women’s Aid frequently. But now I’m out of it, where do I get help? I’ve had legal help, I have general support from refuge workers, I’m on a long waiting list for counselling, I have friends but I don’t always want to burden them with my problems that while they would listen to me wouldn’t have a clue what to suggest and it can make people quite awkward that they can’t do anything and don’t know what to say. Sometimes you just want to randomly pick up the phone and talk to someone who understands.
Can women’s aid still help in this situation? I feel lost and alone.

[Serenity]

Hi Lemonnaise,

Did you speak to the National Women’s Aid helpline or a local one?

Women’s Aid should direct you to a local office, if there is one. The local DV outreach service should also be able to tell you if there are any support groups or Freedom/Pattern Changing groups happening nearby.

You’re right: you need to speak to those who truly understand.

Just to say, I was on a 6 week waiting list for counselling. I phoned up really desperate and asked if the wait could be shortened, and I was fast-tracked.

[Lemonnaise]

Thanks Serenity. I am actually on a recovery course but don’t feel it’s right for me. It’s a group thing and I think I need one to one, which is why I have tried to get counselling.
I think as a coping strategy, I tend to make light of things as much as I can, which is why I’m able to usually get on with things and be quite proactive, but I’ve definitely hit a bump this time.
I’ll ask about being fast tracked, have never heard of that.

Thank you again

[Serenity]

My Dv workers wouldn’t put me on a recovery course until I’d had sufficient counselling. They said I needed to be in a stronger place, and prepared, and counselling would help me get to that point.

I hope you can be fast-tracked. x

[Lemonnaise]

That’s interesting – do you mind if I ask which part of the country you’re in? No one has suggested that here, but it does seem lack of resources is to blame, there simply aren’t enough refuge & support staff to give all the women the support they need. They seem stretched and support is spread thin – appointments sometimes cancelled, rushed or cut short, constantly being moved etc. I thought once I got here I’d have a lot more specialist support but honestly sometimes I feel completely alone and like I’m navigating this hell blindly. I’m fine with the practical side of stuff, but the emotional side is definitely lacking so god help any women with cases more severe than mine.

I’m going to make a to do list to help me get back on track, including calling up the counselling team.

Thanks x

[Twisted Sister]

I also often feel concern for any in a worse state than I Lemonnaise, as yes, stuck between a rock and a hard place!

There is always Samaritans when you need to talk out of hours if you can’t reach anyone else, but it can be difficult to speak to any not familiar with it.

[Lemonnaise]

Karmasister, do you have experience of refuge (you don’t have to answer)?

You’ve actually just reminded me of something…I’ve only ever used the samaritans once – actually by email – and that was many years ago, because of how my abusive ex was treating me, a long time before I considered he might be abusive. Another weird flashback.

Anyhow, as you say, I think only people trained or experienced in DV can truly help.

[Anonymous]

Victim.support is really good hun x

[Confused123]

Hi hUn

I find cousnelling is the best, while i was waiting i reached out to a refgue and was allocated a support worker even though didnt stay there, reach out to apply for a freedom course, the ladies really can relate to you, read up on abuse

[Author]

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