Life after dense FOG

[HunkyDory]

Hi ladies, not posted for some time. I’ve been out more than a couple of years. I was lucky, when he left I took the opportunity to slam and bolt the door so he couldn’t come back – something I was able to do in the circumstances we were in. He left the country and now can’t come back. I’m lucky. I know most don’t / won’t have that “luxury”.

I had PTSD, and extreme FOG. EMDR helped a little but time, absolutely zero contact and good friends and family (and a cat) have helped me put everything in perspective. It takes time, but you see the wood for the trees eventually. The guilt that crippled me (I so wanted to help him and his family – I’d come to think it was my obligation to) is distant, and every time I waver, I think “it was his choice to abuse me, therefore he has made his own bed and is lying in it”.

I still have the odd nightmare, I can even smile about the good times we had, swiftly tempered by the memories of how he abused me so badly, bringing me back to the reality that he wasn’t the nice person he wanted me to believe he was.

Don’t forget who you are, it’s so easy to lose yourself when you are caught up in abuse. There’s always a way, maybe not easy or quick, but reach out. Formulate a safe exit plan with help from your local DA workers and posting on this wonderful forum. You’re worth it.

It’s so good to see stories of ladies who thought they’d never get out actually do it, and be able to breathe again.

I’m happy with life now with no man in it. There’s nothing I feel is missing from my life (well apart from a decent lottery win) and I love being me again.

Keep putting one foot forward, I hope you find your ways out safely and soon.

Sending lots of love and strength to you all xx HD xx

[nbumblebee]

So many amazing stories of those who got out so much encouragment for those of us still here.
I I love your post your honesty these really do help especially on bad dark days when you cant see a light there you all are sharing the love. Thank you for posting this today. Xxxxxx

[HunkyDory]

❤️❤️

[Weemebreeze]

❤️ this post

[HunkyDory]

💕

[iliketea]

I remember you! Thank you for posting. Out too but not as long and going through the ptsd stage. BUT not one regret!
Xx

[HunkyDory]

Oohhh I’m so glad you’re out too iliketea! I remember you too x are you getting some help with ptsd? I hope you’re through that horrible stage soon. Life is waiting….. 💕

[Ariadne]

Hello HunkyDory,

Thank you for sharing your experience!
You mentioned EMDR and I am curious about this, though I have heard it can be very expensive… It also doesn’t seem like a realistic therapy somehow! Could you share a bit about your experience with it?

Thank you!

[liftingthefog]

Terrifically inspiring post ….thank you so much 🤗
Posts like this do indeed encourage me particularly when the road ahead seems rocky and difficult.
Thank you. So glad you have finally reached such a wonderful, safe and positive place.
Xx

[Sunflowersunshine]

This was really beautifully put. I’m really sorry for what you had to go through. But it’s really encouraging to know there is hope. Thank you for your words.

[WillIreallygo]

Very inspiring, thank you for your post.
It brings me a hope that I can make through it as wll.
I’m absolutely happy for you ♥️

[Shocknawe]

Thank you HunkyDory. What a nice post, full of hope and peace. x

[Escapee]

🤗💕

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