21st April 2021 at 11:36 am #125009MeAgainParticipant
I’m a few months post separation and finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
I had a lot of involvement from the social services and other professionals who are finally backing away. I just wanted to say that for anyone else it does get better and it is so worth it.
I didn’t believe I was in an abusive relationship, I thought it was mutual abuse because I retaliated at times, something I’m not proud of. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and accept that my behaviour was not right but it was because of how I was treated. Sometimes I would defend myself and hit back and sometimes it was just so truly awful I would snap and hit first. Knowing he would then have an excuse to hit me and it would clear the air. Towards the end of the relationship he would sometimes continually insult me , tell me shut the f**k up and nothing I did was right. He started to pick up weapons such as a knife and (detail removed by moderator) and allthough he didn’t threaten to use them I was scared. He put me through some pretty awful things but I always thought it was my fault. My children started insulting me and emulating his behaviour and one day after a very minor assult I finally snapped and called 999, I thought if I didnt do it now I might not be able to as he take my phone and house keys off me when things escalated.
He was arrested and removed and bailed I told this police officer a lot of what has been happening for a very long time. The police had been called before by neighbours and my own child but I always lied and got rid of them.
I felt extreme guilt and then (detail removed by moderator) dropped the charges – the officer in charge came to see me and urged me to seek help from a domestic abuse helpline as he thought I was in abusive relationship, even when I said what I had done and it was my fault.
I called my local womens aid and finally relized I had to get out! I explained in detail some of the things and they were so understanding and non judgmental.
They had done a referral to the social services and they were not satisfied With me dropping the charges.
They started investigating and accused me of not putting my children’s needs first.
In hindsight I relize what a dangerous situation I was in, and they needed to step in and do what they did.
I got help from my doctor who called my social worker to try and mediate.
I’m still coming to terms with some things, as I wasnt able able to deal with them when I was him – I just had to pretend everything was fine and make the best of a bad situation.
I am now healing, And I’m so glad I got out when I did. I’ve seen a massive improvement in my children’s behaviour but still got a long way to go.
Iv read the freedom project book and sadly have realised my own parents relationship was probably abusive but I iust thought it was normal.
Its still early days and it’s not been easy , but there is light at the end of the tunnel
22nd April 2021 at 7:19 pm #125079DarcyParticipant
My beautiful Angel …Meagain,
I am sending love and support for your healing process.
Remember life is a journey, not a destination.
Well done for getting out, never forget how powerful you are.
Sending you continued love and support
23rd April 2021 at 8:51 am #125100DarcyParticipant
Your story will give hope and empower other women so well done for being brave and telling it xx
23rd April 2021 at 12:16 pm #125122Living WarriorParticipant
I am so so proud of you!
Just pause and breathe. 🙂 things do get better and now you too are seeing this first hand!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. This will no doubt give others who are “doubting” their need to leave, because sometimes its easier to stay. As i did for many years. The unknown is such a scary place. Feel proud that you have stood up for yourself, and now have some time to be kind to yourself, celebrate you victory. Things can only get better from now 🙂
WELL DONE YOU!
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