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Dear Ladies, today was my third session of the freedom programme. I told them that lately I have been spending up to 8 hours a day or more on this forum, they told me it would be a good idea to wean myself off it. I think that I use it to fill a void in my life as I am scared of letting go and to try to find answers. But I have been so down and fearful with high anxiety. I am going to try to come off of the forum a bit from now on. Thank you for all of the help and advice you have given to me. HA XXXXX
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Hi HA,
I think it’s such a lifeline when you first experience abuse, but then nature tells you to go on it less, to engage in other things.
I go on it far less now than I did at first- but it’s great to check in once in a while. I might look al out daily, but I am not in it for a long period of time because life beckons…
But it’s nice to help people, see how they are doing, and to receive support when needed!
Thanks for all your help on the forum!
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Hi hunny . I will miss you but you do need to think of yourself too . I most probably get told the same!!. I wish you well and happiness please do come back and let us now how you are much love xx
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Hi Healthyarchive,
I find I need to check in regularly enough with the Forum to stop me going back into denial when dealing with abusers and to maintain my strength. I couldn’t give it up completely as I would soon start to weaken as abusers are everywhere and they are very cunning.
And my default personality pattern is to be too trusting, too open and think good of everyone when as we know abusers knowingly hurt others and will carry our hurtful actions as they have a need for control and to get a high from our disturbed emotions.
Maybe as you say to limit your time on the Forum would be a good thing but still to use it to maintain your strength by reading the posts every now and then.
I too have gained so much from your posting.
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Thank you for your lovely responses. I’ve tried to stay off the forum for a bit longer this afternoon though as you can see I can’t stay off for too long! I think as i’ve been off of work and tied to my house for a few days this has contributed towards my bumper sessions of 10 hour plus!!!! The advice of the freedom programme was valuable and I’m going to try to wean myself off a bit and more into day to day life. I feel quite lonely and empty without the forum and abuse books, i have no partner now and have never been single before and feel that I have a bit of a void of emptiness inside me. I hope to work it all out.
Healthy Archive XXXXX
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Hi HA,
You have been so supporting to me, I will never be able to thank enough, you and this forum made me so strong.
I do actually agree not to often to be in this forum, make me feel I’m a victim, and I don’t want to feel that way. But again this forum always giving me strength every time I feel down. You and all the ladies here meant so much for who I am now.
Good luck and wish you every happiness in your life. Please do come once a while in this forum.Hugs and kisses
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That is very kind, thank you so much Million Pieces. I’m trying to get a bit more balance in my life, it has been almost 100% abuse orientated for some months now, my life is mainly dark with horrible stories and sad situations. I’m not getting much balance or doing good, normal things. Its not easy as i don’t have an awful lot going on in my life but I must try to change that. At least i’m not with any man who is not being good to me so that is good. XXXXX
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Hi HA. I’ll miss your postings, although I know you won’t be completely backing away. I think it gets to a point where we get almost obsessive with the ins and outs of domestic abuse and we read and read, trying to answer the questions that seem to spin round our heads
I start my course tomorrow, I’ll post and let you all know how I found it. Have we got a freedom programme thread or subheading? I don’t think I’ve ever noticed one. It might be cool for us to share how we are finding it at all our different stages
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Dear Malaya, yes there is a thread called Freedom Programme. I am on week 3, we walked about Denial and also why women do not leave. The women are bonding so well and all have different stories. Next week we talk about families and children when abuse is present. I have been shocked to realize that I have never had a normal healthy relationship and didn’t know they existed. I hope tomorrow goes well for you. X*X
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Hi. I have been using this forum for (detail removed by moderator) years now. I’ve been to my local women’s aid, been on the Freedom programme and read up stuff on line, just as yourself. I don’t feel the need to move on in any way from my experience. It’s more important to me to recognise and accept that I am a victim/survivor of domestic abuse/violence and for others to one day recognise and accept it too. So I don’t think you need to feel anything positive or negative about how much time you spend, eight hours or not, on the forum or focussed on what you have experienced. Maybe this is where you need to be. One day you will find yourself doing something else because you have moved on. Not because someone else tells you. That’s all. And thank you for your posts. They help me too. X*x
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Thank you for your comments Confused 123 and Older Lady. I think that I was just a bit paranoid lately as I was on here so much, literally as soon as I woke up, all through the day, until before I went to bed. But then I realized that this coincided with me being off sick from work for a few days combined with waiting in for workmen so I couldn’t leave the house. This is why I was on the forum that much. I was eating a lot of comfort junk food whilst being glued to my PC which didn’t make me feel great, but I appreciate your suggestions that it may be what I need right now. X*X
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