Little moments of peace

[KIP.]

I’m sitting doing nothing special with a nice cuppa coffee. I’m on my own, watching the tv I choose. I’m not out of the woods by a long shot but I can appreciate now what normal people take for granted. Little moments of peace. So if you’re working to free yourself or have just escaped. Know that these moments will come. Your anxiety will disperse, the knot in your stomach will go, the world will start to look like a better place. You can even enjoy the simple things in life like a nice coffee. Keep moving forward ❤️

[Healthyarchive]

This is a lovely post KIP, thank you. I think some of the women who have posted today would so much love to read this and feel this way. We will all get there. X*X

[Serenity]

Quite true, KIP,

I have a bad head cold today. If my ex were here, I would be forced to carry on as normal, for fear of annoying him. The very fact that I was ill would make him angry. How dare I be ill: I existed to serve his needs.

As it is, both my boys realised I was below par, and both have happily spent time with their friends. I fell asleep for an hour at lunchtime. If he were here, he’d be making me feel guilty, that I was ‘sleeping on the job’, as he required 24/7 attention!

My boys wouldn’t even have invited their friends over when he was here.

He would have been annoyed that he was being ‘left’ to look after the kids whilst I was resting. Or he would take them out somewhere where he would control them, to punish us all.

Yes, we have to deal with pain, but those moments of peace, and the world staying calm even when there is some unavoidable nuisance, such as you being ill, are invaluable. X

[Healthyarchive]

No, I was not allowed to be in any way negative, downbeat, scruffy or god forbid bad tempered. My ex’s preference was for me to be permanently sexy with dress and manner, happy and welcoming, generous, besotted and allow him to get away with anything and turn a blind eye. Thanks but no thanks!!!!

[Serenity]

Gosh, HA. The more you write, the more similarities there are between our exes.

My ex told me off for not ‘greeting him’ enthusiastically enough at the front door daily.

[Healthyarchive]

Yes, i remember those days. I remember once i answered the door, I wasn’t in a very good mood. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him but I wasn’t sure how I should act as I didn’t want to come across as rude and I wanted to be a good girlfriend. So i told myself that I must be happy, friendly, welcoming, make eye contact and make an effort with my appearance so that I look sexy. It was all so terribly strained, i can see that now. But had i been anything other than those things we would have ended. He would have left me. I just read your post again Serenity & it made me laugh, ‘greeting him’ at the door, hahaha!!!

[KIP.]

I didn’t get up off the couch to welcome him. I didn’t tell him enough that I loved him. They are idiots. They pick on anything. Any excuse to make us anxious and jump to attention. Not any more. Not my problem 😆

[Anonymous]

My ex always said to me i got needs i got needs . He controlled sex even if i said no!! He never cared if i was in pain …. he was very selfish.. everything i got was his i could never keep anything for myself .. he even used my dressing gown deodorant etc … i was just a servert to him!! . It was all about him!! He took all the credit for my accomplishments.. he had to do better than me always . I was not jelous of him . He was jealous of me .. and tried to destroy me make me feel worthless . Vut you know what i am strong and powerful i will fight him!! X

[KIP.]

I think it’s harder when we split from an abuser because they have made themselves the centre of our world. Stripping outside interests and friends etc. But we can pick ourselves up and spend our new found time on ourselves. That’s what I’m doing X

[Healthyarchive]

Dear KIP, I am pleased you enjoyed your nice cup of coffee yesterday in your environment of calm. I hope that you have some of those again today. At the moment I think due to some recent reminders i’m going through a bit of a manic phase, but aside that I reminder the feeling of calm & of my breathing being slow and steady. In the past it has been fast and short breaths. I have felt such contentment at very simple things such as a free evening where I can do what I want. I have thought have much I love my life and how lucky I am. I hope that you and me and all of the women on here can eventually reach this state of being all of the time. XXXXX

Serenity recommended some books to me before, they are such simple feelgood books, you might like these too: The Womens Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden & Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach

[Author]

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