Living close

[Scottish Thistle]

Hi all, been a while since I’ve been on here posting although I do check in now and again.

We are still in a stalemate situation – I had got myself psyched up about moving on when he got a solicitor earlier in the year but we’ve had no response to my reply (decided not to chase for personal reasons).

I heard (detail removed by Moderator) that himself and gf were getting a council property (all in her name as she’s not been declaring that he is living with her) any how the property was right across from (detail removed by Moderator)! The place I’d be going to live once we sold our house and motioned the divorce – why would either of them want to move there?? She knows where (detail removed by Moderator) stay and I know she has family close by but why – it’s nuts. I managed to get the move stopped had to provide police incident numbers and interdict order which thankfully was issued at (detail removed by Moderator) address, but have since found out the have a house in the next scheme to (detail removed by Moderator).

Has anyone had their ex live so close? How do you deal with it? Recently found out via a mutual friend who I’ve had to remove contact with that the ex still loves me, wants to be with me and is not happy and doesn’t want to be with his gf anymore. Even if that was the case and they split up why would he want her living beside my family.

Sorry it probably sounds all jumbled but hopefully you get the jist.

[Weemebreeze]

Hi Scottish Thistle

I totally understand – when I left our house after a violent assault, he moved his new gf in within weeks. It’s in my area, close to my friends, near my family. Neither of them have any ties here whatsoever – they’re both from far away. I found / find the whole thing utterly bizarre and uncomfortable. It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the opposite of what I would do and I therefore I can’t comprehend it. I’ll be totally honest, I’ve struggled a lot. I find it so invasive. It felt like his gf was trying to live my life and it felt like he was using her to torture me. I ended up withdrawing a lot from the area, kept a low profile. I wouldn’t visit the local shop, altered my walking route, socialised out of the area …. Anything to reduce the risk of seeing either of them. It’s been a while and I’m learning to live with it but it’s bonkers. I pray for the day they leave. I imagine you’ll be like me and powerless in this situation, all I can advise is don’t engage with him at all, zero contact and keep your connections with family, friends – the support helps get through. Hope you’re ok. I’ve been able to stay somewhere else a couple weeks a month (after some great advise on here to move away) and it’s helped very much, I can’t express enough how I’m able to relax away from here. If you’ve options to go somewhere else, I’d recommend. Even just short term whilst you build strength X

[KIP.]

Yep. My ex could have bought anywhere but chose to buy a very short distance from my home. It’s like they want to show that they can do what they want. They want to Keep exerting the power. Best thing to do is to completely ignore him permanently. Absolutely zero contact and that includes gossip.

[Scottish Thistle]

Thank you for your reply weemebreeze – in a way it’s good to know it’s not only my ex that does these things. I know where they were staying when they first got their temporary accommodation which is on the route to my local (detail removed by Moderator) which I regularly attended prior to COVID but since it re opened I have avoided the place as I would need to pass their flat. Like you I would do the opposite try and find somewhere in the opposite area to avoid seeing the ex. I did the same as you withdrew from things and places I knew he would go which I now think why should I miss out or change things because of him.

Thanks Kip, yes I have remained the zero contact with him and those who I originally thought could remain mutual and impartial I have slowly got rid of when they’ve shown they are team him.

[Author]

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