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I don’t know where to start because this could be a really long post if I was to go into everything but does anyone else feel like they are living in a void, it’s like I can see what’s happening to me, I know what’s happening to me is abuse but here I am trying my best to make him happy, to not upset him so he goes on one, explaining why and how I did things as to avoid arguments, having sex just so it stops the arguments about if I’m cheating, don’t love him anymore, making sure I don’t over eat because he said it’s my weight and the fact I’ve gained weight that’s why he’s unhappy, making sure I’m parenting right and to his standards, I dread the weekends as this is when it’s worst, the emotional abuse and threats, I feel so numb but so emotional at the same time, I can’t explain it. Sorry to go on
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No need to be sorry at all! That’s what this place is here for so talk all you want to, get it out so you can see it. The longer it runs circles in your head the more confused you will be. There are ladies here who are very wise, gentle and have been there themselves so nothing is going to surprise them. You need affirmation that you are not the only one and so many times in relationships like this because we have become isolated and cut off or afraid to speak up, of course we’re going to think it’s just us being weird. It’s not. Not at all. Just because you are “here” means alot!! First step. Keep walking and talking. People will chime in when they feel like it. No rush to judgement here, just take a deep breath and spit it out. We are all listening, make yourself at home here. HUGS!
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Oh and, to answer your question……we ALL know what the “void” is and feels like! Very familiar to us. It must kinda be like what gets injected into a bug to make it more docile so the predator spider can eat it or save it for later. And yes, there is a cure for that! Stick around!
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It doesn’t matter what you do it will never be enough. He enjoys shifting the goal posts and keeping you stressed and confused always running ragged. That way you don’t have time to stop and see what he’s actually doing to you. The spotlight is on you when it should be on his behaviour. He’s enjoying this. Take a step back. It’s not you, it’s him.
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A very simple way to know if it’s a dysfunctional abusive relationship – take a huge step back and ask yourself, is he overthinking his behaviour to be respectful of your feelings? Is he picking his words and actions carefully do as to not upset you?
Nope – does t sound like it! When one of you is walking on eggshells whist the other is king of the castle it’s not a balanced relationship,
Trust your instincts. We ignore the warning signs – the fact you have found your way here speaks volumes!
It’s a safe place – keep posting xx
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