Living with insecurities

[Visionforward]

I was married to a man for (Detail removed by Moderator) years who used emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse to control me. Apparently that’s not a bad man because he never struck me!!!!
I spent years believing everything was my fault as he was Mr Popular and loved by everyone so it had to be me that was the problem right??????
When I finally saw things for what they were, (he was close to having me in hospital as a mental patient) i found the strength to see my own doctor, get help and I left, I lost one of my sons, a home, all my “friends” and had to start again. It was a messy divorce and I was even abused in the street by others who accused me of all manners of evil for hurting this “good man”. !!!!!!!
(Detail removed by Moderator) years on I am mostly happy, in a job I love, after (Detail removed by Moderator) years separation I am in tentative touch with my son too
I recently met a new man and I adore him, he is the polar opposite of my ex but I am making him jump through hoops as I’m so scared to trust, so far he’s so patient but I know I’m hurting him, I go through bouts of telling him he would be better without me and could find someone better, I don’t want to lose him though!!
I’m having nightmares every night with all my insecurities being laughed at by my ex and I feel his presence once again in my room, so starting to avoid sleep because I’m scared.
Anyone identify with this and have any tips I sometimes feel I could lose my mind

[KIP.]

Did you ever receive counselling? Contact your local women’s aid, they run a course called the freedom programme. Years later for me and I still get anxious when good things happen to me. My ex used to pull the rug from under me whenever I was happy so I still have my brain wired that way sometimes. Good counselling will retire your thought process x this forum helped me get through terrible years of abuse and validated my feelings so keep posting x

[Visionforward]

Thankyou
Yes I did the freedom
Programme twice 🙁 the first time was a blue and the second time helped more but both times were years ago
Do you think it’s possible to re attend?

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