Living with Post Traumatic stress (an abusive father)

[WaterLilly]

I’m not entirely sure if I am putting this topic under the correct subheading as it was not a romantic relationship I was engaged in but my relationship with my father.

Three years ago a (detail removed by moderator) year long abusive relationship came to an end when my dad attempted to murder my mum while I and my brother were in the house. This was not the first time he had been abusive and I have suffered from eating disorders, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts as a result of his abuse for years beforehand. During this time I would continuously ask my mum to leave him as I desperately wanted my dad out of my life but I was traped as she would not leave or divorce my dad.

I have made leaps and bounds in the last years to recover from my dad’s treatment and have now cut him out of my life however recently I have been getting flashbacks, nightmares, and episodes of bad depression and extremely low self-esteem with his voice going around and around in my head.

I would really like to break this cycle and be free of his abusive voices in my head can anyone suggest any therapies or places where I can receive some help and support. I am currently a student so have limited funds but would try anything.

Much love,
WaterLilly

[KIP.]

Hi Waterlilly, have you tried ringing the helpline on here. They can help with finding your local women’s aid who often have access to very good tailored counselling. Your GP may also be a good source for you. Google local counselling and you may be lucky. Some offer free or you can make a small donation. You may find your college or uni have help. Please speak to them as if you’re suffering from PTSD or mental health problems under this disability act they should support you with extra help. Extra time for exams etc. Reach out for help.

[WaterLilly]

Hi @KIP.
Thank you for your reply I have never thought of finding a local women’s aid charity for counseling help but I think tailored counseling would really help. Thank you again for your help I will also speech too my uni.

[Ayanna]

You need long term therapy because early child abuse has the worst impact on human life.
I suffered child abuse from an early age and it has prevented me from reaching my full potential.

Your GP can assign you to a mental health service that provides therapy for you as long as you need it.
You are young and your life lies ahead of you.
The facilities are out there.
Please fight to get the right therapy, such as person centred and/or trauma therapy.
The health service can accommodate this, you need to persist and fight for it.
Post again and let us know how you get on!

I fought for therapy for several years after escaping death and I finally got it and now they do not discharge me, because my trauma is very serious.

[maddog]

Well done for recognising this. As a student I had no idea that I had been abused psychologically. I didn’t know it existed. I was first in touch with WA because of my dad’s behaviour. Have you been in touch with NAPAC? There’s lots of good information on the website. The NHS counselling offered in my area is rubbish. If you are able to push for an appointment with a psychiatrist through your gp, you will have better access to appropriate support.

[freedomtochoose]

Hello Waterlily,
The counselling available in the NHS varies as others have said with postcodes, and is often basic CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and not necessarily trauma-focussed therapy.

My gut instinct is saying that this may be a lengthy process, for you and you may not only need that
but also as someone has said psychiatrist if you can get one, but also think of it in terms of for example if you got counselling through college (and I’m aware it is the holidays now so you might be looking at September) – for a certain number of weeks you might wish to focus on a part of what you want to work on, and accept you can always go back at a later point in life.

There is also body work which might help. Yoga has been used and recommended for PTSD the evidence is there. Some classes though can be quite hefty and it may be good to look for something called restorative yoga which is a gentler version.

There are sometimes specialist counsellors for the aftermath of trauma for women but that depends on the area. There are sometimes charities and independent organisations which do this. I did six weeks early on when I left my situation and that was the best counselling I’d ever had, but sadly, the service shut down due to lack of funds.

ftc
x

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