Lonely

[Starlight11]

I’ve found after my marriage ended and learning so much about healthy and unhealthy relationships, that I look at every relationship I have, Friendships, families etc differently. I never had a big friendship circle and now I find it hard to trust in people easily. Recently I’ve had a falling out with one of the few I do trust, over something simple given our history and now I’m questioning my judgement again. The times I don’t have my children I spend alone, it’s like so much time has passed that it’s no longer important to make the effort to see me, that I’m not enough for people to bother with. I understand part of this journey is being comfortable being alone, but it’s been (detail removed by Moderator) years now and I can’t keep mentally picking myself up from feeling unwanted. I’m trying to find groups to join and I’ve tried to set up my own, I just feel so lonely. Has anyone else experienced loss of other relationships after splitting from exes? I’m just not sure if this is part of the journey or if there’s something I’m doing wrong.

[Atsah]

I lost all my friends due to my ex and he also stopped some of my family from coming round.when i left him i did eventually make some more friends from work and they are five close friends who i trust but like you i don’t trust many people.i fell out with a friend i had known for over 20 years i think because i put too much pressure on her.when my anxiety got bad i used to doubt that she wanted to be my friend why would she etc one day she totally changed and even though she had seen me through some of the worst times in my life going through court etc she just cut me dead and hasn’t spoken since.i haven’t been in another relationship since my ex because i don’t trust men. I have family and friends so i am lucky but i still feel isolated.i am alone most of the time.when i am off work for holidays it’s the worst time as everyone says have a great holiday are u going away etcno because i haven’t got the money and i can’t go on my own! Even if i go to a family do i feel alone as i am not part of a couple.i think many people who haven’t gone through the experiences we all have just think well you aren’t with him anymore, you are free and can do what you want etc but they still live on in our heads for many years after and it’s hard to find our place in a ‘normal’ life again.you are not alone you have everyone on here.i hope things get better for you soon.

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