Long term anxiety and struggling to manage

[anotherlife]

Hi ladies.
I just need to put something on here as I feel like I’m falling apart. I keep my head up the best I can but the after effects causing struggles with my daughter and my own anxiety and awful way I talk to myself, so many tears today and I just don’t know what to do. I’m not explaining well at all about how I really feel.
I can’t get away from my abuser as we have children and because of certain health issues fir one of them, I’ve been keeping him updated etc. I’m a few years out anyway and was just d****d relieved to get away from him, but there’s no clean break when we’re still in the old house and I’ve tried to keep most of it from my kids. I know some days are better than others for everyone, but it’s the struggle of being a lone parent to teenagers, I just don’t seem to mentally be able to handle it. It all feels too much. I’m so grateful for my life and fir never having him near me again, but he’s still in my head literally every day and I just don’t want that or understand why.
I hadn’t loved him for years before we split, due to the emotional,verbal and psychological abuse. I can’t bear to be near men. I’m anxious every day, physical pain in my chest from the anxiety.
I know I’m going on and on. I just wish I could run away somewhere peaceful, somewhere there’s noone around and no cars and people.
I can’t keep pretending to everyone that I’m ok. I’ve tried so many things etc online to help my mood & positivity, but the only time I feel safe and calm is when I’m away from home and with other women who I trust.
Please anyone, how do we get through these times.
Sending love & hugs 💕

[Hereforhelp]

Hey another life, you have not gone on at all x

I am in the same boat and writing this whilst laid up in bed, I am relieved I can rest when sick now without anxiety of how my husband would be towards me, relieved my children and I are safe and like you, try so many different ways to keep positive. On my hardest days when I cry on and off I have learned what works for me, which is I run a bath and tell my teenagers that I shall be listening to music so do not disturb unless urgent. That space helps me calm down. Sometimes I phone my closest friends and let it out (I realised when I was at the start of the leaving him cycle that if I didn’t talk to those I love and trust then how could they help me.

The Freedom Programme is also helping, have you done that programme?

I go days without thinking of him, his abuse, how he impacted our children. I love those times when he isn’t in my head 😊 I think, from what I have read, it is what or how you can cope o the harder days? What has helped in the past?
❤

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