Long term consequences of abuse

[Ayanna]

Abuse does not finish when we flee.
I had to suffer further abuse by the court system and health system and those who pretend to help.
Until I got rid of him it took almost two years of extreme stress.

I have become sick because of that.
I am now being investigated for an auto immune disease on top of my already existing health problems, that started during the abusive relationship.

(detail removed by moderator)
Thank you to those who cut funds and who close refuges.
My innocent blood is on their hands.

[unhappyme]

ive suffered (detail removed by moderator) of abuse due to a man i thought was normal he has all the symptoms of a n********t
i have been diagnosed with (detail removed by moderator) and anxiety i left him last year to live with dad who has since passed away due to dementia and he has left me his house my husband found me and comes up here 4 times a week, says he s changed i hate him so much im so scared of him i dont have the guts to tell him i dont want him or (detail removed by moderator)
he is crazy, a real jekyl and hyde person and to those who dont know him he appears normal he is very crafty and clever a nd ive been to the freedom programme at a local refuge
ive not admitted to anyone until now that he comes up 4 times a week and ive let him in
i hate him but my fear stops me from telling him to get lost
i have a legal aid solicitor and i even told her a fake address for him so when the (detail removed by moderator) goes through he wont know as im scared of his reaction
originally lastjune my sol sent him divorce papers he refused to sign, so when he came up and brought hixs post i told my sol he through his bank statemenst over the fence so i used that for deemed service its been going on nopw for (detail removed by moderator) but iom so scared when he comes up he will see my post, (detail removed by moderator)

this is my house, not the marital home i moved (detail removed by moderator) miles away but he found me the has threatened me
im so stressed and scared ive gained lots of weight ive no self esteem
im a quiet shy mature woman who puts her trust in everyone he even has my car as i cant drive its in his name
imon benefits and struggling yet he lies all the time saying he s no money he lives with his mum when he is at work, he turns up hear when off work he works shifts so he s here 4 days a week
he is a bully ive had years of manipulation, emotional, verbal and mental abuse yet im so scared of him
i did phone the police in the begining ive been told to get a non mol order i know they all right yet im so scared of what he may do
im vunerable and alone i also have a marac ineed help and support ive nobody i need someones strength
ive been told to change the locks i cant afford it he has a key to my house he keeps saying its ours no way dad left it me and im scared he can make a claim
please someone help me
i dont want him in my life but im too scared to tell him

[Ayanna]

Call Rights Women and tell them your story.
Use the call back function because they are very busy.

Also get a support worker from Women’s Aid. You need outreach.

Speak to your GP too.

Whatever happens against your will is a criminal offence.
If you are that scared that you let him do what he wants he commits a crime.
You call it coercion.

You should have the law on your side.
Buy a small exercise machine on amazon. They have them for under £20. (detail removed by moderator)

I sleep with a hammer under my pillow.

You need to tell the police that you are scared he could kill you.

Is there any friend who could stay overnight with you sometimes?

[Ayanna]

I wonder who takes responsibility for my illnesses.
I wonder whether I can claim financial compensation from the government, because my health deteriorated from the stress that I was subjected to when I wanted to save my life.
It is actually the fault of the hostile women politics that led to my ill health.
Had I been given a place in a refuge where I was safe and could think of what to do and how to move on, the stress would have been a fraction of what I had to endure.
Had I had better support in the court processes and had I been supported with my rape claims, my stress levels would have been a fraction of what I had to endure.
Now I have to live with the history of rape and the fact that justice will never be done. This is eating me up from the inside.
I have to live with the fact that he had not been punished for abusing me and almost killing me.
I have to live with the fact (detail removed by Moderator) restored his confidence and treated me as the guilty and despicable part.
I am dying inside.
I do not know what can help me anymore.

[Author]

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