long time after, still affected

[Happyskies]

having a bit of a hard day. it’s such a long time after but it still comes up. people in my new workplace brought it up with me, over a year ago now. I’m still stewing over it. I find myself repeating things out loud in empty rooms, talking aloud about what happened and its effect on me. I go on and on about it, why am I doing that? I want to put it behind me and forget.

[Happyskies]

I’m just going to add this in here too: I’m really worried that I was abusive myself. I became so crazy, am I just as responsible? I’m so worried and scared all the time. what if I can’t ever leave all this behind? what if I can’t move on properly?

[Bananaboat]

It’s not a ‘normal’ break up, you’ve been through trauma and abuse. There’s no timeline to this and I don’t think a year is that long at all, so be kind to yourself x

[Happyskies]

thank you, it means a lot to read that. really grateful 🙏

[Birdsstillsing01]

Be super kind to yourself happy skies. I think we all have days where we are handling this better than other days.
You were hurt and it’s ok to see the pain and the damage, but it is now in your past and you get to live now in your present. I find focusing on what I have now, even small things like buying myself some flowers, or sitting in a beautiful place and listing all the things I see, can move my brain out of a place where it’s ruminating on what happened.
A year isn’t long. Be gentle with your lovely self.

[tryingtosleep]

Hey happyskies
A year is really not long at all.
Have you tried counselling – it might help deal with the trauma.

Write it all down and treat yourself.
It’s very normal to feel this way x

[Happyskies]

thanks. this means a lot x*x

[Mellow]

Im in same boat I just want to move on but I’m always playing stuff in my mind and am distracted I did get medication it helped for a short while but I’m thinking of increasing the dosage you are not alone .I’m at a point I’m always obsessing reasearch and wondering why I was never enough and the family what he had I will never understand it.o ended the relationship as he had a dual life I just can’t get over it it’s taking over my life I’ve been told I’m not elegible to therapy but you might x

[Mellow]

It has got to the point my self esteem is affected and if people say nice things I think they are lying

[Happyskies]

@mellow I’m so sorry you’re going through this. you’ve got so much on you’re plate. I promise it gets better. have you tried looking up the have ING technique? Paul mckenna has it free on YouTube. I found it really helped me a lot with soothing difficult memories.

[StrongLife]

Yes, it takes a long time. The scares and legal etc. I’ve moved too to get into safe places.
I have been through trauma before –  this is a while different level and financial impacts are great.

I’ve gone to therapy a long time then felt at point I had nothing left to say- only to realise it’s still not over.

The impacts – sometimes ongoing – are just continual.

 

 

 

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