Looking after myself from now on

[Buddy]

Hey ladies , so my husband went to his mums , haven’t heard anything from him .. he has now gone away with work a couple of nights .
I am working and keeping myself busy .. I don’t think he will ever give me the upper hand and ring me to suggest we sit and talk about our marriage as this is the way he is .

I messaged my male friend( as he has been there for me a long time with advice) even though it’s complicated as he said he likes me . I told him that my husband has gone and I need to concentrate on the children and Christmas now .. no reply from him .. not even a are you ok !! Just ghosted .
So between my husband and him I am beginning g to wonder what I have done wrong in a past life . I trusted both of them .
So I am now trying to think about myself and get through each day . It is so depressing x

[KIP.]

There’s a big void to fill but concentrate on yourself. This male friend may have been happy that you were married as it gave him an excuse not to take things further. He’s let you down before. Do not look to others for validation or happiness now. That’s your job. Just make a happy safe place for you and your children. Get all your ducks in a row now so that you have the upper and when your ex realises what he is losing and that he’s no longer the boss. It’s really difficult at first but it does become much easier. Get some things in your diary. I know lockdown is restricting but plan some nice things x

[Buddy]

Thanks kip .. I know I need to be happy for myself not through someone else . He was just so kind to me at times .. but ghosting me has really hurt me .. even just on a friendship level . What is the matter with these men .. emotionally stunted !
X

[Buddy]

I honestly can’t believe how relaxed and chilled out I am , since he has gone !!
It’s not easy but I have no tummy churning and I am actually enjoying organising my own life !!
I haven’t heard from him but he has rung the children .. and actually I now think the other guy was a product of my marriage as I do t seem to be obsessing about him either !
Madness ! Maybe I am meant to be alone x

[KIP.]

No, you’re not meant to be alone you’re meant not to be abused. Enjoy this peace. This is what real life is about. To sit in your own home free from drama and criticism and fear. To breathe slowly and relax. To watch what you want on tv. To have dinner and make a cup of tea without fear if you’ve done something wrong. Not asked him if he wants one as well. Just waiting on that voice running you down. The goal posts constantly moving. I still relish that I can stay in bed in the morning or go to bed when I please without having to be on edge all the time. The walking on eggshells. Enjoy but don’t get complacent because he’s coming back. Why wouldn’t he? Do you think he will stay at his mums when you’re in the house? Protect yourself x

[Catjam]

Mine went away for a couple of weeks last year and it was bliss. Made me realise how on edge I was all the time. You don’t need validation from anyone else. I was told by someone from Women’s aid the other day that we had to be extremely strong to survive what we have.

[Author]

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