Looking back and realising abuse all my life

[TwentyOnePilotsFan]

Hi. I’m new here. I wanted to ask if anyone has lived with emotional abuse from a parent their whole lives and are now only just realising? I’m (detail removed by moderator), have 3 beautiful daughters and am currently living with my abusive mother. This abuse has been there my whole life but I’ve only realised this in the time we have been living with her. I feel we are trapped here.

[Lisa]

Hello TwentyOnePilotsFan,

Thank you for your post and for sharing what you’re going through.

I’m sorry to hear about the abuse you have experienced from your mother, it must be a devastating realisation to come to.
It sounds like living with her has really shone a light on the behaviour, and you’ve been able to reframe the way you view this. It could be the first step of a long journey and I’m glad that you’ve decided to reach out for support with this.

I’m sure other users will be able to offer some advice and support soon.

Take care and do keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Lisa

[Teaandtoast]

Hiya I’m new too, and I have experienced the same from my family my whole life too. I’m sorry you had it too.
(detail removed by moderator) I am single, without a job and no friends, living with CPTSD.
All because of abuse from family and exes and struggling in jobs because of bullying and harassment too.
I did have a job with children not long ago until I disclosed ptsd and they got rid of me because of it.
So I just feel so useless and alone now. I am hoping to meet people on here and at least get some kind of connection from others.

[Karisqq]

The realisation is painful, but it’s good to realise, so that you can set boundaries, and know that it’s not your fault. More importantly, you can seek help and work on the impact of the abuse. It’s painful, but it worths. Hang in there x

[Funduro]

I can relate to having an abusive family. They have a long history of socially excluding me as I am different to them and won’t accept the abusive patriarchal structure of the family. I reconnected with my brothers and my father this Xmas, for myself, not them, to see how they are. I won’t tell them my address, don’t actually want to see them again after the years of abuse. It’s almost like I don’t exist to them because I’ve gone through domestic violence, still in recovery from it, and also have cptsd which seems to be a real nightmare to live with. I even had 20 sessions with an emdr therapist this year and looked at all the trauma, to realise that I have always had abuse from my family and it is all gender based too. I have strong boundaries now, which means I won’t be seeing any of them again as they still abuse me, minimise my feelings and emotions, gaslight me, I generally get the sense that they all look down on me for going through DV, they didn’t help me when I needed to get away from the abusive ex so that was the last straw for me…they literally left me for dead being stalked by the horribly abusive ex. I don’t feel like I will ever experience what it feels like to have a loving family and that makes me angry on a daily basis at the moment, along with the flashbacks of all the crazy DV. I’m scared to date men anymore because if it goes wrong, nobody is there to help you, but plenty will be there to blame you.

[Author]

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