6th January 2021 at 2:13 pm #119236DancingWithMyselfParticipant
Hi, I’m new here, and looking for advice.
My ex left me a while ago, so I am now safe, but before that he was psychologically and physically abusive for several years (luckily nothing extreme and I was never injured, but has still greatly impacted me).
I am a student, and have been really struggling with my course because of what I’ve been through, so thinking I should pause my studies at the end of this semester (January) and continue next year instead. I need to talk to my family about it, as I will need their support, and help finding a job for the year, but I don’t know how. My circumstances are different to most students, so I cannot move back home like others could.
Does anyone have any advice for how to tell my parents about what I’ve been through and how I’m struggling? We have a slightly difficult relationship, and no one in my family talks about their feelings. I’ve been putting off talking to them, and I’m really worried about how they might react, which isn’t helping. At the moment I’ve been staying with them over Christmas, but due to leave in the next week or so as my course resumes, so I am running out of time.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you!
6th January 2021 at 5:16 pm #119252beachhutParticipant
I am sorry about your situation. Please do not be afraid to tell your parents what you are going through.
Many years ago I was in a similar position and needed to tell my parents what had happened to me, it turned out that that already knew that things were wrong in the relationship I was in. At the end of the day they are your parents and even if they like mine did not show emotions they do care, and I am sure they will support you. You need them for support and the fact that you are staying with them at the moment must mean something, just say what you have to, you have nothing to loose but so much to gain.
Good luck. Take care.
6th January 2021 at 6:37 pm #119256EggshellsParticipant
If your struggling to say the words, could you write them down.
I have started similar conversations by saying ” I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to come out with it.”
It’s kind of hard to help with this because all family dynamics are so different but hopefully, the more people who reply, the more likely you are to be to find something that might work for you.
6th January 2021 at 7:11 pm #119259gettingtiredParticipant
Hi I haven’t told my family yet either and it’s something I really struggle with. I agree that it might be easier for you to write it down in a kind of letter to them if you’re struggling with opening up to them in conversation? x
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