Losing the Plot

[Dragonfly]

Sorry for posting again but I really feel I’m losing it. Feeling very stressed out, I almost lost it at work today. It’s like I’ve gone back to where I was 8 months ago. Had to walk away from my desk and go to the toilets for a cry!work is very busy and stressful. I feel like it’s compounding what’s going on in my head.

I’ve already decided I’m not going to work tomorrow, will try to get an appointment at the doc. I really think I need some counselling. I’m actually scared of going to my GP. Think I’m wasting their time. I’m unsure how to get my points across without sounding like an attention seeker! I’m really not. I can feel myself going down, to that horrible place in my head.

I’m still on high alert when outside. My seemingly paranoia is back with a vengeance.

I know I need proper chat with a trained DV person specialising in NPD.

[Serenity]

Hi Dragonfly,

Good for you for deciding to put your health and well-being first tomorrow and reaching out for help.

I reached out to all sorts of networks and professionals when I was at my lowest. Don’t get disheartened if certain people don’t understand: certain GPS weren’t too helpful, but others were. I found that my DV outreach service were the best. They organised counselling and other support for me.

We all understand you completely. The ravages of abuse are horrible. But with help, you can beat it. You can return to yourself and you will, I promise, see him as a pathetic little squirt one day. The trauma does subside slowly over time, but you must always reach out for help and not stuff your pain down inside.

Big hugs x

[Author]

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