Lost

[Munchkin04]

So far I’ve been strong. I’ve had the silent treatment for (detail removed by Moderator). All because he’s been slighted. Tonight while I sit alone and he’s got the tv blaring I feel so lost and alone. I won’t let him see me cry but I want to sob. I hate this. He said something to me and never could see my side or how I felt then goes on about my ex and how it must have been for him living with me, so I tell him he has similar characteristics. With that he ended the conversation and hasn’t spoken for (detail removed by Moderator). What do I do? I’m so so sad

[Hiya@]

You are not alone, there are literally thousands of us sitting here with you. Have a cry, wash your face and make a cuppa. Write ! Use this space, read a book, can you go for a walk ? Silent treatment is horrible, I have experienced it many many times but you can make it ok for yourself.
Stay strong xx

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Munchkin, your partner is not going to be rational or converse in the same way a non abusive partner would respond…. him bringing your ex up like that…reads like he is making out you were the problem with your ex … all these subtle digs, silent treatment, unpredictable moods… all of it… is designed to keep him in control.

Keep posting
HFH ❤️

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Munchkin, your partner is not going to be rational or converse in the same way a non abusive partner would respond…. him bringing your ex up like that…reads like he is making out you were the problem with your ex … all these subtle digs, silent treatment, unpredictable moods… all of it… is designed to keep him in control. You do not deserve to be treated like this.

Keep posting
HFH ❤️

[tryingtosleep]

Hi Munchkin
Not really the same but I remember once I was trying to walk my ex safely home. He was drunk and being awful and the only way I could deal with him was by having earphones in and music on.
Not sure if this works for you. Just a suggestion x

[Munchkin04]

Thank you. I know the pattern. Just this time it’s lasting longer than normal. He’s deliberately not changing the toilet roll when it’s empty not filling the water filter. Silly things I feel to get a reaction from me. He ended the conversation a week ago and I have told myself to not converse. He’s gone into batchelor mode and I’m staying away. Maybe that’s wrong. I don’t know anymore. X

[pigeonperson]

Hey Munchkin,

The silent treatment, sulking, refusing to do things he normally does, all part of abusive tactics to control and humiliate you, to make you feel less than, to make you feel guilty, to make you blame yourself.

His behaviour is abusive and it’s not your fault.

You deserve better than him. I don’t know your situation, but I do know from experience (double figures trapped in a DV relationship) that it only gets worse.

He will suddenly snap out of it and be his “old self” next, to make you feel grateful that he’s finally talking to you again.

Emotional abuse is horrendous. It’s not love: it’s calculated and cold and deliberately cruel.

I’m sorry you are feeling so lost. I know that feeling so well. My ex used to mock me and sneer if I cried. Even hit me and shouted at me to shut up. I had so many silent treatments over the years and my best and only advice would be to pack a bag and leave but I know it’s not that simple so sending you hugs for now.

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