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Suspect I’m not the only one who gets this… He’s playing the little boy who doesn’t know what he’s done wrong today. He hasn’t been at his worst – just telling me what the kids can and can’t have for breakfast. And then he said ‘What, don’t look at me like I’m a dictator!’ But that is what he is. This was a tiny thing, but suppose the tiny things add up. And his big outbursts affect how I react to smaller ones.
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Hi, I totally agree. It’s because we gradually accept all the little things that make the big things and their excuses seem normal and that we’re making mountains out of molehills as mine is always telling me. He always used my sticking up for our sons right to have their hair cut as they wanted or wearing the clothes they liked etc as reasons for his abusive behaviour. He said I always supported them and made him look like a villain. But it’s one thing allowing him to dictate to me, but I usually found the strength to stop him taking things too far with them.it was also easier to see with them somehow. He always finds a way to justify his actions which confuses the situation.
But if we don’t make a stand they keep us trapped sucking the life out of us. As you said acting all hurt and upset by our accusations is apparently another classic tactic, one I fell for for decades. Stay strong and stay safe 😊
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