• This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by KIP..
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    • #131638

      Hello everyone,

      I am so sorry we are connecting on very sad and unfortunate circumstances, I hope every woman reading this now God grants them peace in their hearts and hope.

      Loads of people say words like ‘you are safe now’. I know my husband was abusive (detail removed by moderator), but why why do i feel worse here at this ‘safe place’ than when i was being kicked, spat on and humiliated. it makes no sense to me.

      I have been through so much from losing my baby because of the abuse so why do i not see him as a threat, a danger, a evil abuser?

      I am haunted everyday by his words that if i do leave no one will ever want me. truth is my husband was my first everything, my first love, my first time (i lost my virginty to him which is seen in my community as so important, and we had our first baby together (which he (detail removed by moderator)).

      how can i get over the fact that my community will never ever accept me again. how men will not give me time of day now because i am ‘used goods’.

      i am okay looking.. but not absolutely stunning and being with my ex has caused me to feel ugly to the point where i am (detail removed by moderator).

      i was in the marriage for not too long but as a south asian woman i am more likely to be judged how do i get over this?

    • #131640
      KIP.
      Participant

      As human beings we crave what is normal to us, even if that normal has become violence and abuse and when we lose what feels normal it can be really distressing. It’s going to take time to get this out of your system and make a new normal for you. Also, abusers make themselves our world so when they go we have a huge empty void to fill and that also takes time. Don’t look to these men for validation. Any man who abuses a woman gives her permission to walk away. When you married him it wasn’t to be abused and harmed in such a dreadful way. Causing that miscarriage ended his child too and that’s something he did, not you and if men in your community think it’s okay to stay with such a man then they are the ones with the problem not you. You have the right to walk away from any relationship and an even bigger right to walk from an abusive one. Don’t let his pathetic words control you. That’s what they’re designed to do x be kind to yourself x

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