Love Bombing & control continues

[Haven]

I left my husband (season removed by Moderator) and still trying to fight my way to a new life. He often texts me with all his emotions and has seen a therapist every week since I have left. I no longer feel sorry for him, I feel nothing and feel guilty for leaving him so suddenly. I had to do it that way and I know you all understand. He does not understand and never will. He thinks all our marriage needs is more work!! It’s abuse! He will never change. He is still suggesting we meet for dinner ??? What planet is he on? Last chance to get his clutches into me before our divorce is finalised and finances too! He is gutted that I have done this in our middle age just as he was planning to retire. I’m scared about my future alone but know I can manage financially and already don’t need him and would not chose to spend time with him. I have so many other friends ( I have always nurtured my friendships and managed to keep in touch regardless) and enjoy my own company too.

I’m nearly there! Last stage is selling our home and getting my own place. A big step for me alone but know I can do this. Blocking out emotions to stay strong.

Please know you are all strong women and can survive whatever you are dealing with. Believe in yourselves and don’t look back. Its tough but so worth the time and effort.

[minimeerkat]

this is so good to read.  because no matter how much your ex is trying to manipulate you your eyes have been opened to the truth of him being abusive.  i think we gain so much strength from this because we can then put the blame firmly where it belongs.  and we can reach a point where we have absolutely no feelings for them because of how they have treated us

if your ex partner had respected you within your marriage he would have naturally seen himself enjoying his retirement with you by his side.  whereas you are now able to look forward to the years ahead with your confidence self respect & hope – good luck with the house sale & finding a safe place of your own

[Haven]

Thank you so much minimeerkat. This forum really helps me when I’m struggling to get the thoughts and feelings out and I like to read them back, because I then know they are real.

[minimeerkat]

it never ceases to amaze me how they react when suddenly faced with the consequences of their behaviour – its either denied dismissed or minimized & suddenly we are made to feel like the guilty party.  we can be accused of being unreasonable & heartless

so no – you keep going.  you know the truth.  and let any attempts to control your emotions simply wash over you x

[Author]

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