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    • #132909
      Bee1
      Participant

      💓💪🏻🙏🏼
      sending out hope and strength to us all

    • #132912
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      I heard something today that made me think of all of you. Broken people help broken people.
      I hope it doesnt offend anyone, i read it as you all understand as youve been here too ❤

    • #132914
      Bee1
      Participant

      Hi there fellow Bee 🙂🐝

      ‘Pain bodies’ recognise other ‘pain bodies’ unconsciously I reckon. I’ve been doing some reading about that funny enough…
      I tried for years to understand his mental states and tried to smooth out his mental battles, of which there were MANY. But i found it impossible as he could not accept his own truths. . So sad. Inevitably I became so weakened by trying, I simply ran out steam, and ran out of reasons to love him any longer, it made me so poorly in the battle.
      The true colours of his character became very ugly to me. I’m now on my own, and focusing on my healing my own scars.

      I hope you are ok as can be little bee 💓🙏🏼

      • #132926
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Wow Bee1 you certainly have battled bless ya heart I am so glad you are out and flying free now. I hear you i try to understand why he does and says what he does I try and look for what I do wrong I try so hard so I can put it right but so far ive had no luck, maybe I never will.
        Sending you hugs xxxx

      • #132973
        Bee1
        Participant

        Hey dear bumble bee 🐝

        I can read you’re feeling just the same as I did hun…. on and on it went til I just got to the stage, eventually, when enough was absolutely enough, you will know when your time is right dear lady.
        Have courage in your Self. You won’t always feel this squished. 🤗 I’m sending you bee hugs 💓

      • #132985
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Im scared Bee1 more afraid to leave than to stay. X

      • #132927
        Darcy
        Participant

        Hi Bee1…
        I totally understand what you are saying about running out of steam… you do all you can which becomes exhausting, and then eventually realise the only person you can save is yourself … and the only person who will truly save you is yourself
        What a light bulb moment that is!
        Sending you continued love and support
        Darcy xx

      • #132976
        Bee1
        Participant

        Absolutely Darcy hun!! Yes. It was a reluctant lightbulb moment, but it came down to just one thing… it HAD to happen, the (detail removed by moderator). Which was an odd one, and very very quiet on my own, but that’s ok. I sure didn’t wish it was like it was!
        I did me a really nice dinner, had a soothing aromatherapy foot soak with lavender, a nice cold glass of fizz and an early night… aaaaaand relaaax 😄👍

      • #132984
        Darcy
        Participant

        Sounds wonderful … it really is so important to get to know ourselves and honour the beautiful ladies that we all are
        D xx

    • #133005
      Bee1
      Participant

      Bumblebee?
      I am sure every one of us in here felt the same…. the fear of an unknown, we all learned that as kids, but it’s the woman in us that can face the perceived challenge.

      I wonder also if there’s the Little Girl Bumblebee who has an unresolved fear from way back in your years. Those fears can anchor us into putting up with a bad situation (this is psychology, but I’ve done a lot of work on finding out things about me since I left). I have had to realise there’s a Little Girl Bee1 who Big Adult Bee1 has to look after.

      (Apologies if the psychological aspect here, hope it’s ok to mention moderators.
      It’s just that it helped me to realise a few things about why I stayed so long).

    • #133012
      Whyohwhy
      Participant

      I do believe that you know when the time is right to leave, but I also think that the shift comes from knowledge. I myself started to read books about leaving a relationship (not about abusive relationships as that is something I am only just realising now!). But learning about what makes a good relationship made me see how wrong ours was. You are already part way there by being on this forum and gaining all this knowledge. I am now reading “why does he do that” and I wish I had read it years ago, if you haven’t already done so then please do. I still have contact with my ex because of my daughter and he was still pulling my strings but reading this book I am gradually shaking them off. It also helps not to fall into the same trap again!

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