Made the first step..

[Trapped.]

So today, I got a moment out and managed to call the DV helpline in my area. They did an assessment and she told me I’m high risk. This seems crazy to me, because although I second-guess myself and wonder if I’m actually right.. I didn’t think that it was actually that bad?

I guess you minimise stuff so much until it becomes the norm.

My best friend told me she’s proud of me – luckily she lives next door to my partners so she hears the arguments we have. I know I’m definitely doing the right thing. It just feels so hard. I feel responsible for him. I’ve been staying at his as we were going to move in together, I’ve been staying at his due to a minor sexual assault that happened last year. I need to go home. But I KNOW he won’t let me go easy.

It’s just so good to vent…

[Watersprite]

Amazing – the first step the realisation the reaching out the growing clarity is the biggest step. Keep reaching out for support to get a plan in place to leave safely. Keep your phone charged and call police if you are in danger . You can do this – you deserve safety and freedom x

[Lisa]

Dear Trapped,

Thank you for posting to update us. We all understand how much of a huge first step that is. It can also feel overwhelming when you are facing up to the reality. You are right, survivors do minimise as a way of coping.

It’s really positive that you know you’re doing the right thing, keep trusting your instinct. He will have made you feel responsible by turning everything around onto you, but you are not responsible. He is the only one who is responsible for how he chooses to act.

You may be aware that abuse can often escalate at the time of leaving, so please try not to let him know your plans and prioritise your safety. I hope your local service will be able to help with a safety plan for leaving. You can have a read through our Survivors Handbook for safety advice too.

Keep Posting, there’s always support here.

Lisa

[Author]

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