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    • #139598
      Weemebreeze
      Participant

      Hi ladies,

      After I was violently assaulted and left the relationship (and house) I told my boss at work all about the abuse. He was very kind and supportive during two or three chats and it’s never been discussed since which is fine. Fast forward (detail removed by moderator), my boss has been moved to a different job  (detail removed by moderator) and I’ve been promoted (not to his job, but close). Things were fine until (detail removed by moderator). It’s simply not true. Despite all the issues, I carried out work as normal. I told him (detail removed by moderator). I left the conversation feeling the same as I did with my ex – totally confused, ashamed and doubting myself. It was just like “what exactly just happened”. I know what meetings we had and I know my version is accurate but hes making me doubt myself and it’s very triggering. I struggled to keep my emotions together and now I’m thinking I proved him right. Sorry, not sure why I’m posting, just have no one to talk to. Been Spiralling into bad anxiety and feeling really low past few months and literally no one in my circle wants to discuss with me, their face screws up when I try to discuss how I feel and instead I have to put on a mask. I got the promotion (detail removed by moderator), I know it’s amazing and im so grateful but I just feel so guilty and ashamed and like I don’t deserve it. Instead of being really happy, I’ve felt guilty all week. X

    • #139638
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Weemebreeze

      I just wanted to show you some support. It’s awful that your boss is being so unfair and unsupportive, it’s understandable that this is triggering.

      All you have done is make your boss aware of the abuse which was the right thing to do, so it’s really unprofessional of him to bring this up, lie about your meetings and criticise you. You did really well to carry out work like normal and to continue to do a good job despite what you have been through. You do deserve this promotion and other people at work clearly like you and appreciate you.

      I hope the rest of your week gets better and you are looking after yourself.

      Take care and keep posting,

      Lisa

      • #139648
        Weemebreeze
        Participant

        Thanks very much for the lovely message, I really appreciate it and feeling a bit better about the situation today. Thanks again

    • #139640
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      It’s difficult to know what’s happened with the moderation changes but with anything work related, have you got notes or emails which support your position? If not start keeping them going forward, follow up meetings with an email of key topics discussed – keep it factual and end with ‘if this is not an accurate record please reply’ which puts the onus on them to correct anything. If the issue relates to performance then make sure you have clear, achievable objectives and that anything they say you haven’t delivered can be evidenced, not just with numbers but when did they inform you there was an issue and what support did they offer. You shouldn’t have had this like Lisa said and it’s horrible to think you have to protect yourself, but sadly there’s bosses out there that shouldn’t be bosses! Plus, if you suffer from anxiety or depression that could be classed as a longterm condition or disability which they shouldn’t discriminate you for. But less about your boss – massive well done on your promotion!! Enjoy it.

      • #139649
        Weemebreeze
        Participant

        Hi Bananaboat

        Thank you so much for this – it’s extremely helpful! And thank you for the good wishes. ❤️

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