Hi smallbutbrave,
Yes, this is sexual abuse. He puts a lot of pressure on you to have sex, which means that you’re not able to say no freely so when you agree it isn’t true consent. On top of this, which is rape, he uses complaints about sex to put you down, make you feel bad and like you’re not enough for him, blame you for the things that he does. It sounds more like he doesn’t care how his awful behaviour puts you off. He feels entitled to your body on his terms. This is misogynistic and wrong, it’s something that a lot of abusers have in common and is part of the beliefs they hold about women that so often underlie domestic abuse.
If you want some extra support around the sexual abuse, or want to just talk through what happened, Rape Crisis have a 24/7 anonymous helpline and Live Chat where you can speak with a specialist advisor.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa