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    • #17206

      http://www.netmums.com/woman/sex-and-relationships/11-signs-of-emotional-abuse

      Saw this online today (really hoping it’s okay to share on here!) and thought “Finally!” and wanted to share it with you lovely ladies.

    • #17239
      Confused123
      Participant

      thxs for the link, my ex did all that

    • #17271
      myfairyqueen
      Participant

      I wrote mine but I’m too scared to post it on my own social media yet! You should have a go, I found it really liberating!

      #maybehedoesnthityou but maybe it all starts with what you think is the perfect man. The one you want to spend the rest of your life with. The one who is your soulmate – you have so much in common. Or do you? But then what? #maybehedoesnthityou but he slowly starts isolating you, telling you your friends are saying things about you behind your back, eroding your trust in anyone but him, getting you to tell him all your secrets then over time, using those secrets to say nasty things about you, guilt trip you and even blackmail you. #maybehedoesnthityou but he hits himself and makes you think it’s your fault, in fact everything is your fault. #maybehedoesnthityou but you walk on egg shells, you wonder what is going to happen when you get home and don’t sit down as you are forever trying to make things perfect so he can’t get upset and blame you, what you don’t realise is that nothing will ever be right as the rules keep changing and he is setting you up to start the abuse cycle again. #maybehedoesnthityou but he buys you most of your clothes so you wear what he wants you to. #maybehedoesnthityou but he towers over you shouting and pointing his finger to make you scared and wonder what he is going to do next. #maybehedoesnthityou but he throws things, pours drinks over you and writes insults on your body. #maybehedoesnthityou, after all, it was only a push and it didn’t leave a mark. #maybehedoesnthityou but he has a go at you every time you go out without him and he doesn’t know where you are at all times. #maybehedoesnthityou but overtime you try to leave, you get as far as the local pub and realise you have nobody in the world you can tell as you can’t trust anybody because of what he has done to you then he pretends he is going to commit suicide so you come back over and over and over again. You get up the next morning and pretend that nothing has happened, getting on with your ‘perfect’ life whilst inside , your world is chaos and you feel numb as crying means you are weak in his eyes. #maybehedoesnthityou but then maybe one day he does. He shows his true colours in public in front of all your friends – the one moment which shows you that enough is enough and you are at risk.

      #maybehedoesnthityou but you decide to leave for the final time, he pulls out all the stops to make you come back – getting out a knife, taking too many tablets, pretending that the dog is ill, sending you 200 messages a day for months telling you he has changed and can’t cope without you when all the time, he is with someone else anyway. #maybehedoesnthityou but after you have left, he pretends he is the victim and tells everybody lies about you, he harasses you, your friends and your family. He spends hours a day trying to plot things to get to you like blocking your phone, bank account, cancelling van hires to stop you moving house, makes false allegations about all sorts of people, harrasses your solicitor and when you go to the house you jointly to get your personal things, he makes out he is the victim even though he hid your own personal belongings and spent 3 hours telling you that you look fat and he hopes you get cancer.

      When you finally have that lightbulb moment and see through it all, there is no going back. Make a plan, make a clean break and go no contact. Get help. Try to start rebuilding your friendships. Enjoy life and realise you are free and so brave for escaping. Take time to grieve – for the person you fell in love with but then realised wasn’t real, for the people and animals you had to leave behind and for the life you worked so hard for because you are a strong person and didn’t want to give up. You wanted to help him, you were doing it for the right reasons.

      You are free!

    • #17475

      Wow Fairyqueen, well done you 🙂

    • #17478
      Serenity
      Participant

      Fairy Queen,

      That brought tears to my eyes.

      The bit about getting on with your ‘perfect life’ while you are chaos inside really resonated with me.

      You have been through so much. Xx

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