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    • #50572
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      Hi all
      So just an update I left my abuser
      A while now and still dealing with the aftermath
      He still haunts my thoughts
      I was let down badly by police as not enough evidence

      AS I mentioned before it’s not until you leave an abusive relationship things are so clear

      I have a meeting with an officer at my local police station to put my concerns over more needs to be done

      I just hoping I can keep my cool

    • #50578
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Hi

      I was also let down by the police. They got him to court, he went on trial but they missed vital evidence. I believe they just wanted to tick the boxes. I phoned them numerous times. They eventually got back to me (detail removed by moderator) weeks later, told me it was too late for more evidence!!!

      I believe their incompetence helped him walk free. WA were brilliant, even attended court but the police were useless. Apart from getting me out that night and driving me home.

      There needs to be more support from the police. Someone to answer our questions.

    • #50579
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      Hi Dragonfly

      Thing is I did not know emotional abuse was a crime

      My ex was also mirroring my Facebook posts
      I gave the police evidence but they never took me seriously..my ex was also provoking me for a response he sent me crazy ..(detail removed by moderator)

      I’ve gained so much knowledge abusers tactics etc … but police made me out I had an obbesion with him ..what bs…. where is the justice
      Without witnesses ..these abusers are vert clever … makes me so mad

    • #50621
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Is your local victim support good?
      Maybe they can help?

      Have you spoken to Rights of Women?

    • #50651
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      I ask myself the same question. No witnesses? No abuse. You had an obsession with him? I had something similar apparently! It’s completely wrong.

    • #50657
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      Sure is Dragonfly

      Police don’t get it hun

      But I will fight on . I will not be VICTIM blamed the war continues 😁

    • #50708
      maddog
      Participant

      The police told me they believed me. Also that even when a crime isn’t prosecuted doesn’t mean it didn’t it didn’t happen. I know my husband has sexually assaulted other women.

    • #50711
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      The police believed me too they just didn’t follow up vitally important information. They charged him and he was put on trial. However I believe because the police didn’t follow up on this vital evidence all he had to do was lie and therefore got away with it.

    • #50712
      maddog
      Participant

      Their hands are tied. I told a woman recently that I believed she was groped by my husband. She asked me if I believed her at the time. I was in no position to answer that as she gave no further details. It took me several years on to recognise that he was assaulting me. I have no idea of what he did to her, only that if she felt it she was right.

    • #50715
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      I was told by police I was believed but not enough evidence .. thing is when I left other evidence came to light but did not want to know ..ex girlfriend statement etc who he abused also

      It just gets to me ..hes free to abuse again

      I may not stand up for myself by fighting bk
      BECAUSE Iam not violent..

      Iam just so mad I never really seen the cycle of abuse

    • #50718
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      I think that’s the biggy isn’t it. We have the realisation of what we actually went through but usually we only come to that conclusion when something big happens like being attacked. It’s a difficult to come to terms with. In my situation it was difficult because it was like I’d been brainwashed

    • #50722
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      Hi Dragonfly
      Yup brainwashing. Gas lighting
      Worst form of pyscoligical trauma

      These a abusers know exactly what they are doing
      That’s why most get away with it

      The more we speak up though and share our stories hopefully things will change with the law

    • #50724
      maddog
      Participant

      I know that my husband has sexually assaulted several women. These are the ones I know about. Rape within marriage was still legal when my husband was with his first wife. I have been raped and not reported it. The CPS need blood on the carpet at least. In order to prove sexual assault behind closed doors I think they need evidence which amounts to porn.

    • #50736
      Borntobefree
      Participant

      So I ain’t got a meeting now with the chief Inspector instead I have a phone call this week

      Oh I raging hope I can keep my cool

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