Men

[sweet4]

I just wonder, do these men change with age,and get worse with age, it makes you think.?

[Bananaboat]

They don’t change for the better!

[Chocolatebunnie]

My experience, no they just change tactics and even become better at gaslightling and manipulation.

[Mumofcats]

So true. Physical abuse lessened and stopped but psychological, emotional, financial got worse.

[Chocolatebunnie]

Absolutely this, they get clever.

Plus he’s admitted some of what he has done to me in the past is wrong but then denies that what he’s doing now or some of what is still happening. He just changes what he does or chooses to acknowledge and then it’s justified to him.

[swanlake]

I’m not sure how much of my post will survive moderation but my abuser has gone on to commit crimes against children and motoring offences. An absolutely despicable person who has no regard for anyone else. Scary that people like him are in the community and on our roads endangering others’ lives. I was going to say other people’s lives but I don’t think that he sees others as humans with feelings and the right to life.

[StrongLife]

It just gets far worse. They never change

[Sad and alone]

I think they get worse the older they get and the longer you’ve been in a relationship. They think they can get away with things because they feel so comfortable in the situation.

[Allornothing]

I think they get worse, I think men do go through a menopausal type phase also which makes everything just escalate or perhaps it’s just them realising their loosing their youth and do anything to try and stop from getting older therefore acting like rebellious teenagers!

[Anonymous]

They get worse. They find more of you weak spots and even worse ways to hurt you.They tell Mrs lies get more people on their side and make your life even more of a living hell.
They ramp up the humiliation, degradation and use any way they can to destroy you.
They turn family and friends against you, find fault in everything you say or do.They watch and listen and find any bit of information they can about you.
They convince so called professionals that you are a crazy, abusive,liar and that you are the n**********c bully and try and break any support line you have by charming their way in with them.
Their goal is to break any ounce of pride or self worth you have left, isolate you,break you financially, emotionally, mentally until you feel that you really are going insane and want to end it all.

[sweet4]

Your absolutely correct.

[Stargazing1]

They do get worse with age .

[Stargazing1]

They never apologise either .

[Stargazing1]

Apparently everything is my fault.

[Stargazing1]

Maybe I’m just a bad person.

[sweet4]

Star We cant change them as they cant be changed, everything will always be someone else’s fault, never theirs.Never blame yourself.

[Stargazing1]

Thank you so much for your support @sweet4 . I appreciate it so much. I’ve sent an email to my local DA place and this time I’m going to talk to them .

[Stargazing1]

I was once talking about going on a little holiday on my own you know just a little break away from things but apparently I’m not allowed to go on my own so I’ve been told.

[sweet4]

Well done you, that’s how i started out, contact with DA, now i have a support worker, why let him control you, if you want to go on holiday, then you can, he does not own you, keep posting.x

[Stargazing1]

Thank you 😊 @sweet4 . I appreciate your kindness. Take care of yourself.

[Stargazing1]

He does think he owns me @sweet4 definitely.

[sweet4]

Mine is so controlling as well. but as we all know, we need to stand up to the bully. x

[Stargazing1]

It’s not a nice situation for any of us is it @sweet4 . I wish this was not happening to you . I think I’ve tried to stick up for myself but I never get anywhere with it . I’ve never been good at dealing with bullying. I hope your stronger than me . Sending hugs .

[sweet4]

You need to tell yourself, i know its hard and he makes you feel worthless, i dont know your whole story, this has been going on in my life for over 3 decades, i kept falling for his lies, but not anymore, you need to contact, live chat on here and they will guide you, keep posting , we are not alone.x

[Stargazing1]

I’m so sorry to hear you have dealt with this for such a long time . It is so very hard . Putting on that brave face etc . I’m glad I’m on good company here . Verbal and emotional abuse for me and the occasional coercion actions from him . It’s nice to post here to get things off our chest rather than bottling it up . Take care of you ❤️.

[Stargazing1]

They always blame us . It’s never their fault.

[sweet4]

Your learning🤗

[Stargazing1]

Thanks 😊 @sweet4 . Thanks

[Stargazing1]

One thing that I Really dislike about him is this habit he has where he has his hand down his pants and he’s fidling with his private parts . He does it when he’s sat on the sofa and he’s relaxed whilst the TV is on . I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable seeing this . He’s not actually doing anything rude he’s just touching himself just like moving things around with his fingers. I can’t bare to see it . I really really don’t like it . He’s nearly ended up doing it when other people are around and he’s now walking around in his underwear in front of my son . Apparently it’s OK because it’s like wearing a pair of shorts . I’m sorry I disagree . He’s disgusting.

[Stargazing1]

My son is a grown up but I don’t think he should walk around in his underwear in front of my son .

[Stargazing1]

This person who I’m married too . Its not the first time they have been married. He claims others were at fault. I don’t believe others were at fault now . At first I did but not anymore.

[Stargazing1]

He Always seems to have an issue with my son but then when he wants some help with technical stuff he’s like oh can you please help me with this tech stuff or if the house needs watching can you please blah blah blah . He his happy to keep slating folk but then wants to be best buddies the next minute. He makes me puke.

[Stargazing1]

It’s so nice to be able to offload here . It stops me from bottling it all up . Especially with no one else to talk too . At least then I can try my best to let him see I am looking fine . Next thing you know he will be wondering why I’m quiet and not speaking about stuff like I usually do because he will say to me stop talking about this and stop talking about that as if my opinions don’t count. At present he’s being nice and I Don’t like it it’s creepy.

[Stargazing1]

I have to have my phone on silent because when my phone pings it gets on his nerves. His phone pings all the time and apparently that’s OK buy mine has too be on silent. How is that OK???????

[Stargazing1]

If someone accidentally spills something on the carpet he gets extremely angry but if accidentally spills something on it it’s OK. Apparently it’s because he’s paid for it and there’s only him allowed to have accidents .

[sweet4]

Star you sound like you are reaching out for help, are you getting help?
as i said previously, i have no friends or relatives, and i cant go anywhere apart from the supermarket and back, not much of a life, no job either so i really do understand, my husband (seperated) does exactly the same, hand always down his boxers, but he became a man baby, which disgusted me, a whole list of not nice things, pm me if you feel the need, we are all here for each other xx

[Stargazing1]

They always give you that feeling of you are putting on them and burdening them . If we have to pop out too the shop for groceries etc because I know he hates it because he’s told me he does I never ever feel comfortable being out and about with him . I know shopping online is an option but I do like to see the products for myself I’m very picky about my food . Every week is a total nightmare knowing we go but he will be stressed it really makes me feel upset. I’m trying my best to not keep slipping up by saying the wrong things but sometimes I mess up . He is always stressed out on the shopping days . Doesn’t make it a comfortable experience.

[Stargazing1]

I Don’t know maybe it’s me just being stupid. I really Don’t know.

[Stargazing1]

They always seem to be nice when everything is going their way. All smiles like a cat what’s got the cream but if something isn’t going their way they start with their shouting and anger and even threats. I’m trying my best to keep a low profile. One thing I’ve been doing alot of recently is making the conversations about him trying to make him think I’m interested in only him but I know deep down I couldn’t really care less the reason for this is when I’ve tried to say a little something about me he doesn’t even answer I mean how horrible is that he doesn’t even acknowledge me when I’ve said something. I’ve made the mistake of asking if I was heard I get a sarcastic answer back . I’ve tried to explain I am your wife not a stranger it goes no where. It just makes me feel not worthy . It makes me very very sad. We put in the effort but are treated like doormats . Talk about a marriage being all one sided. He makes me puke 🤮🤮🤮 . Is it a case of women should be seen but not heard because that’s what it feels like too me . Especially when your told that what you say is wrong alot of the time . That’s why now I stay quiet alot because I’m sick of the regular insults .

[Stargazing1]

I’m sick of the way some men treat women it’s absolutely disgusting. It should never be allowed to happen. My heart goes out to each and every single one of you who are in these terrible situations . They deserve nothing good ever for what these people put others through. They make me sick. They are low lifes . My apologies for posting as much as I have but I haven’t had much space to myself today and I just needed too get a few things off my chest. My appetite for venting so much . Hope I can be forgiven . I thank this site for existing a safe space to let off some steam when we need to vent because sometimes it’s the only way we can get through our day 💜.

[Better-days]

Absolutely sometime you just need to vent. I hope u have a better day today big hugs xx

[Stargazing1]

ThAnk you @Better-days .

[Stargazing1]

Ugh it doesn’t take long for the worm to turn does it . Moods starting again. Question asked nearly had me head ripped off . Calm Question asked boshly answer basically keep your mouth shut lady .

[Stargazing1]

Something was pointed out too me yesterday. I was proved I was wrong. I’m starting to wonder what else I’ve got wrong because if these things keep being pointed out to me I’m going to look so so stupid.

[Stargazing1]

He’s walking around the house again in his boxers in Front of my grown up son again. I’ve spoken before about it but once again I didn’t have a say in it . I feel very uncomfortable about this situation. I wouldn’t do anything like that myself . I don’t know maybe I’m just being stupid again.

[Stargazing1]

I think he’s warped. If they are adamant they are right they won’t back down. If I say anything it will be wrong. I can’t win .

[swanlake]

Thinking of you Stargazing. You are absolutely not stupid or wrong. My predictive text on my phone suggested my abuser’s name after the word stupid and it’s made me smile. That’s my nickname for him.
Abusive people are the stupid wrong ones as they are so cruel despite them playing the victim and saying that they have been wronged by us.

[Stargazing1]

Thank you @snowflake 😊. I’m very grateful for your support.

[Stargazing1]

I know his mind is so very warped . Some things that are said by him are disgusting. Why oh why have I got myself involved with such a person.

[Stargazing1]

My other Half said something last week that was warped . My expression didn’t change to a smile like they thought I should do . A sarcastic sentence was said to me. I just didn’t say a word.

[Stargazing1]

Another Quote ” don’t tell me what to do . I can do what I want ” .

[Stargazing1]

I’m saying the wrong thing again. Would you believe it lol 😆

[Stargazing1]

I apologised as per usual 🙄.

[Stargazing1]

Switching from laying down the law to being all nice 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[Author]

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