Messed up broke my own rules

[White Rose]

I’ve done something really stupid and sent him an email in retaliation for weeks of inactivity on his part as regards agreeing house sale and sorting final aspects of finances. I’ve been pretty scathing about his disregard for professionals e.g. solicitors and police and also his condescending attitude to everyone who dares to question his actions. I’ve accused him of being the root cause of our daughter’s significant mental health issues and I’m convinced it’s true as since she has blocked him on Facebook, changed her phone number and uses an alternate email address she is slowly but surely coming out of her depression. She says she’s had no contact and not checked her other email account since changing her phone and has no intention of telling him anything about her life at all.
I bet I’ve set us back weeks or months in terms of progress but I’m so sick of his stupid lies and remarks I just snapped. It wasn’t even knee jerk reply I saved it as a draft first but still I sent it. Idiot! I’m sick of being put down and being called names and being blamed for every little thing I just couldn’t stand it any longer.
Now I’ll get the emails and texts and phone calls from family he’ll have contacted saying I’ve lost it and am mentally ill and that my daughter and I need to be sectioned, that I am an unfit mother and he’ll threaten social services and police and telling my employers what an evil woman and awful mum I am. The relatives just Iaugh about him with me they know him well too. I just wish one day he’d actually do the social service or police referral as my evidence of his behaviour is already with police and has been discussed with social services – bring it on! Sadly he won’t give me the satisfaction, he’ll just chip away at me with viscious messages which I’ll ignore.
I honestly think he’ll find a way to get at me from beyond the grave he is so evil.
Can’t believe I’ve messed up and broken my own rules and responded. It means he’s won again. So cross with myself. Sad thing is it won’t affect him at all as he’s above reproach and has absolutely no conscience. I hate the evil little man can’t wait for him to be out of our lives for ever. Grrrrrrr.
Wake me up when it’s all over please, I’m so tired of it and just want my life back and be free of him and to feel settled

[Anonymous]

You know we have all done it, those rules we make for ourselves we break them and what can we do but accept that we are human and make mistakes and move on. Sometimes emotions get the better of us and it frustrates us when someone appears untouchable while we cop all the flack. Just a few days ago I was seriously considering telling him to leave when he was due back after some time away. I wasn’t going to stand for anything, he’s come home I have lost all willpower and don’t want the hassle and all I said has gone out the window. Honestly we all do it.

I am sure that if anyone has anything to say that if you explain to them you are tired of him being beyond reproach and that your emotions got the better of you, they will understand. Obviously I don’t know your situation but you have made that break and that has to be one of the hardest things ever to do. Hold on in there hopefully things will get better for you soon . x

[White Rose]

Thanks both of you.
Woke up feeling less cross but still think I was pretty stupid though! I’m an advocate of no contact.
I’ve taken months and months of contact from him slagging me off and sticking the knife in and refusing to move things forward though just managing to do enough to keep court off his back and I’ve just sat here and taken it. He’s escalated it recently and I think that’s why I did it. It wasn’t my finest hour and there will be consequences but this morning I hope he’s upset by it and maybe realised he’s practically destroyed our daughter. He won’t though as he never accepts responsibility for his actions. I feel better though knowing I spoke up for both me and her.

[White Rose]

Yes good point. He’s vulnerable again so I can expect escalation even more – lovely prospect! I’ll imagine my replies next time and won’t send them.
His relationship with his daughter was destroyed by him. She has no contact at all and blocks him on everything she can. Not surprised really to be called a (detail removed by moderator)and be told that he was ashamed of her finished that relationship after (detail removed by moderator) years the first (detail removed by moderator) were loving the next few were evil and abusive emotionally and latterly physical for her. She’s told me she still has nightmares of him strangling and hitting her. She’s not making it up. I have the same dreams of dragging him off her. Sadly his abuse nearly destroyed her too but no contact works for her!
It’s another day. We’ll get there xx

[Ayanna]

Aww, you just gave him a piece of your mind. He deserved it anyway.
Every now and then slipping is allowed. You had a good reason.
(detail removed by moderator)

[White Rose]

Sitting here chuckling at the (detail removed by moderator) emails from him I had today. I was right he’s forwarding my email to police as it’s harassment, social services are aware of what I’ve said and my employers will be told if I don’t do x y and z. It’s also my fault that he abused me and that our daughter is emotionally labile. Funny that since psychiatrists GPs and nurses all feel it’s due to him.
I think he must have a document he cuts and pastes from as all his reactionary emails are the same. I’ve got so many now it’s getting a bit boring.
He’ll start contradicting himself over the next 24 hours as he can’t remember the lies has told before and isn’t bright enough to read his old emails to get facts straight.
Surely if you’re going to be this obnoxious all the time you should take care and get your facts straight?
Evil silly little man!
Have a nice weekend ladies xx

[KIP.]

Hi white rose. Funny what you said about him contradicting himself in letters. I have been gobsmacked recently that my ex is doing this in legal documents. He can’t remember his lies and he makes himself look ridiculous. I don’t know how he ever held down a responsible job. Idiot. We really do not have to do anything. They bring it all on themselves😆😆

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