Miss him: why? Is he crazy? Am I crazy?

[puzzledatlife]

I am not sure about things. I miss him. People at the helpline tell me that he is a classic abuser, that he has emotionally abused of me and that he has has a history of neglect towards the children, and he cannot take serious responsibility for anything. I came home to see my family now for a few days, and they are all being very supportive. They tell me that I am unable to protect myself, and I need to work on making myself and my son a priority. I miss his love and his loving sides. I have not erased him from (detail removed by moderator) because I wouldn’t think he’d be silly over it, and I have just unfollowed primarily because I am not interested in looking at what he does. But if I post something like a portait of myself or my kid or something else about me and my son he’ll immediately like it. I find it childish and I am not sure whether that is a part of abusive behaviour. He left me and my son alone for xmas; we stayed in England for him. A few days after I was due to undergo medical procedure, and he was due to take my son to the airport and my son was worried about me. My ex left by just disappearing, sent a text days after me trying to contact and having no answer, saying it was over because he cannot give me what I deserve, dumped us just before xmas, and on the xmas hols alone in a country that is not ours, left my son alone on the day I was in hospital…then sends a Happy New Year message on 31 dec and begins thumbs up to our photo. Is this crazy? And if so why do I miss him so much?

[KIP.]

Google trauma bonding. You only miss the fake nice bits of him. Block him totally or he will keep trying to get into your head. Typical selfish abuser behaviour. Trying to hook you back in. You deserve better x

[puzzledatlife]

Thanks Kip, it is so hard, it is so confusing. X

[Freedomfighter]

Hi, that’s his plan, to keep you confused and weak. He keeps in touch, pushing himself into your thoughts constantly so you don’t forget him. As Kip said they are selfish. He’s the one who left saying it was over, so why isn’t he leaving you alone? He’s keeping you hooked on the line, keeping himself in your head waiting to reel you back in if and when it suits him. So selfish! He’s not concerned about your feelings or your son’s. Not someone you need in your lives. Stay strong and go no contact. Otherwise he’s just going to keep you dangling. Keep hurting you as he obviously is. Best wishes 😊

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