Missing

[Anonymous]

I have found myself missing him at Christmas. Is this normal? I wouldn’t ever go back to him. It’s been a long struggle but I’m better off now. I even did something simple that I have been unable to do and that was reading a book!

[Tiffany]

Pretty normal for the first couple of years I would say. It’s partly just missing what was normal for Christmas, partly mourning the future you thought you would have. Christmas definitely feels strange after abuse. I was out a solid number of months before my first Christmas without him, and I knew I didn’t miss him, because I was well into processing the horrors, but he definitely intruded into my mind for the first few years. This is probably the first one where he hasn’t been at the forefront for me. I also get heightened anxiety around Christmas. Again, as a legacy of the abuse.

Hang on to the good bits. Reading a book is a lovely step forward. Mine this year was to go for a bath in the middle of Christmas day, because there was nothing I needed to do, and I felt like it! I can’t imagine having the courage to do that a few years ago!

[KIP.]

I don’t think you’re missing him. Maybe missing the good parts if there were any. Remember as human beings we crave what is ‘normal’ to us. So you’re probably just adjusting to a new normal. It takes time to fill in the void left but oh boy when you do, what adventures you can have. Just be your own best friend for a while until things settle down x

[Escapee]

Mummygilz……..I’m right there with you! Christmas has been a real emotional challenge. I’m sure if we were all in the same room together there would be a lot of us holding hands in solidarity. X*x

[Author]

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