Mixed Emotions but made it!

[Scottish Thistle]

So (detail removed by moderator) i took the step and walked out on my husband, our marriage and life together and never going back! At the start i had reservations that i wouldn’t be able to stay free as like so many other woman we get sucked back in with the lies and the emotional torment and believe me i have gone back so many times in our relationship, believing he had changed and would give him one last chance (the one last chance seemed to go on and on until last year when he was on bail for threatening and abusive behaviour his time to change i thought but no) up until a few months ago he still wanted me to given him a ‘second chance’, then it was me who was throwing away a decent man, ill never find another guy as nice as him and throwing away all the years we had together – turning it around as he didn’t get his own way.

I learnt his cycle and that cycle still goes on but now those on the outside can see it too and ask me why did i stay for so long and that they would have left him years ago – easier said than done! I also recently opened up to a woman in work that I have worked with for so many years, she asked the same question, why did I not tell them at work, how did I manage to live as they seemed a normal life etc but I went into auto drive. She couldn’t believe the things that I was dealing with.

I haven been dreading this day in away as it comes with so many different emotions, i can no longer say we did this last year or that. But when remembering our last few weeks and days as being a couple i think that was no relationship and i want more for myself. I am now content with being on my own (have never lived on my own until now so major achievement), i no longer have the social Media humiliation And embarrassment he would cause me as he is now blocked from all contact and it’s bliss. Yes at the start I liked to know what he was doing and putting up but recently I find myself not bothering, there is ways I could see his instagram pictures or Facebook page but I have no inclination. I have heard that he has taken all pictures of me and us off these networks as if I never existed which is fine as I know this is one way he is trying to get a reaction from me bit I’m not biting! Recently found out (if true or not is another thing but) he’s going on holiday with the new girlfriend and her kids to the same place we first holidayed as a couple??!!

He is being difficult with my solicitor, however she has been amazing and really knows her stuff and has put him in his place many a time. Currently in stalemate (detail removed by moderator), he is someone who thinks the law is beneath him and has no respect for anything.

Just wanted to give a wee update and something for me to put ‘pen to paper’

[Soulsearcher18]

Well Done Scottish Thistle, this is great to hear.
It is honest but ultimately positive and hopeful.
It will be read by many who are just hanging in there wondering for how much longer- it may just help someone towards taking that brave step.
There’s no going back, so here’s to to staying focused on moving forward- even if it is baby steps at times.
There is most definitely life after.
xx

[Scottish Thistle]

Thank you soulsearcher18 – don’t get me wrong it’s been far from easy and there have been many a time when I have wanted to shout and tell everyone what he is really like but I have kept my dignity, not responded to Narrow minded people’s accusations about how I (yes I have treated him) and have let him show his true colours on his own to genuine people.

A year before I had left I did start making a plan about saving money, where I would go etc and was in the process of leaving but something happened within my family that put my plan to the back burner as I felt the other thing was more important. However I never got to stick to my plan and left a lot earlier than anticipated, in a way I think it was good (for me anyway) that it was unplanned as I just left with the bare minimum (I am now back in the marital home and he is out) I wasn’t worrying about leaving any signs as to what I was planning, tripping up when talking to him or worrying he’d notice any of my stuff missing. Everyone’s escape plan is different what works for one isn’t always suitable for the other but you will know when is the right time for you to go.

[Anonymous]

I am so so happy for you!!!! And never look back!! Ahhhh, the girlfriend, so quick, eh? Must have her waiting in the wings awhile now! What an unlucky girl she is! LOL! Yes, you did it and now it’s all about you! No changing his diapers anymore! One more free here!!!

[Scottish Thistle]

Thanks Braelynn – the new girlfriend is just to try and get a reaction from me and again it has failed 😀 he worked with her years ago, but he never thought much of her and never remained in contact after she left. She lives around the corner from my parents and is the same age as me. Only difference is (detail removed by moderator)! Some mutual friends believe she was plan b, as he was messaging us both at the same time trying to win me round and when I stuck to my guns the week later he’s ‘in a relationship’ – laughable really but yes definitely not looking back no more, forward is the way to go. Still a long way to go but I’ll get there.

[Soulsearcher18]

One more free!!! Yey. I will literally put flags out (mindfully), raise a glass (of cola) and whoop for every Woman when she takes that step.
I know it is so hard and it is just the beginning then but I will every single one on, for them to step to the other side.
Good for you ScottishThistle! x

[Author]

Posts