Mixed feelings want it to stop

[Mellow]

Feeling upset angry there was a time I saw another woman on his front page of his phone I just feel angry disgusted and used I’ve been nice just for kids sake but deep down I just feel used and I know he will still try and come back for sex he has already offered it and most of you know I was used practically as a sex slave once I announced it’s over the pure evil of it hurts.i even believe to an extent he knew what he was doing but didn’t care he wanted to punish me .now when I think of him I think of the devil .and evil and even his family helped him cheat it seems I’ve blocked them.i know they probably don’t know why but I do I can see everything and I can’t in see it .they are all n********t except for one I believe but she gets taken in and acts as his flying monkey so I had no choice to block I don’t feel sad because they don’t even live here but I feel like I don’t even know who I was engaged to .the phone thing he couldn’t live without it and the longer we stayed together the worse it got I think it even got worse when we had kids cause I think he used me for kids and used me for immigration and then wanted to throw me away.i believe he might have ended it soon he just wasn’t ready and I did it first he was using me financially and to look good and a family man I feel like I’ve wasted my life and I’m still trapped due to some other curcumstance I can’t leave my home but I need to it’s the memories I have not just of hun lord of other stuff these past days I feel like I’ve been cursed things keep going wrong

[Lisa]

Hi Mellow,

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you’ve been through such a difficult time. It is understandable you are feeling this way but you are doing the right thing in going no contact, that takes a lot of strength.

Don’t underestimate how far you have come in your journey.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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