Mobile phone question

[True2myself]

Hi there, so my husband is out house and awaiting court. I’ve taken on all the bills so I don’t need bother with him. Problem is my mobile phone contact. I’m with EE and no matter what I tell them they won’t cancel it or move it. Its on his account. I’m tied to him this way for about a year, he has control and can take away my data just to be annoying and check my calls and texts. What do you all do about this.

[KIP.]

You change your number and provider to a new account and let EE know it’s his account and he is responsible for paying the bill from now on. Give them his address and tell them to send the bills there as he no longer lives at that address and you will no longer be using EE.

[KIP.]

Anything like that in his name that doesn’t affect the house like gas and electricity etc is now his problem. These are the hooks that he can keep controlling you over x

[True2myself]

Yes he’s controlling me like crazy. I called EE and they said not 1 thing they can do. I have own EE account I created for my kids and I. But I got my daughters then tried to move mine and my sons over but they refused it. We are both now stuck with him

[KIP.]

You’re not stuck with him. If he is the account holder then it has nothing to do with you so you can simply stop using the phones that are in your ex name. Get your own phones with your own account. If he is the account holder then he is responsible for paying the bills for these phones so simply stop using them x

[Lottieblue]

I did as KIP has suggested and just got a new phone and a new number.
I still run both phones side by side in case anyone still has my old number but all the people who matter to me now have my new number. I was exactly the same, my phone was on his account.
It’s really stress free and really easy.

[True2myself]

I feel if I give him phone back and leave him with the bill, he won’t like it and will come for me

[KIP.]

If you give him the phone back he can cancel the account otherwise you’re just waiting for the day he cuts you off and he will be monitoring your usage too. He might be able to transfer the whole account to you and you can change passwords etc. You need to slowly untangle yourself from everything to do with him.

[True2myself]

Yeah I’m doing not too bad. This week I’ve sorted out lot of bills and I’m gonna pay them myself. So I can really give him back a expensive phone bill and walk away from it? If u take away the fear of what he will do if I do this. Sorry to be a pain. I’m very loyal when it comes to bills and wouldn’t leave anyone in trouble.

[KIP.]

You’re not being a pain. Under normal circumstances I would agree with you about not giving someone back an expensive phone bill but the contract is in his name. You’re no longer together and you have every right to hand it back, in fact after what he’s done he’s lucky you’re handing it back. He wants to keep paying your bill as a way to monitor and control. He will have options available to him and one might be to sign the whole contract over to you however I’d avoid any further interaction and simply say you’re no longer a couple and it’s not what you want.

[True2myself]

Thank you. (detail removed by moderator) he’s been a nightmare again. I’ve reported it all again. They think it’s too subtle but it’s control. My head is really buzzy from him screaming at me. I’m gonna take tonight to just feel sorry for myself and pull myself together again tomorrow. Dunno how they can go on knowing what they do to us. Thank you for all the replies

[KIP.]

Hey, yes just put it out your mind for tonight and try to get some rest. They have no conscience and they prey on our good nature. Just keep slowly cutting those ties. Changing your number means he can’t contact you either x

[KIP.]

He has no right to take his anger out on you. I hope the police do something soon to keep you safe x

[True2myself]

It got so much worse  (detail removed by moderator). All reported. I’ll get calls from that (detail removed by moderator). I can’t sleep. Feel scared. He talked to my kid with such anger about me. Social services don’t do nothing about it. Hopefully they will when they read my message (detail removed by moderator).

[KIP.]

Please report this to the police again and go zero contact with him. While you allow contact it makes it difficult for the police to act. If you tell him not to contact you again and he does the police can act because it’s stalking behaviour. I’d also stop all contact with the children. It’s child abuse x

[Camel]

Hello True

I expect the phone issue is small compared to everything else. But you’re right to sever financial ties. Abusers routinely use phones to keep up monitoring and abuse too.

I think everything depends on the contract – whose name it’s in and how long there’s left to go. If it’s not in your name then you can’t make any changes. It’s up to your ex to manage changes himself. If he doesn’t want to pay the bill on his own there are things he can do.

Meanwhile remove all your APPS (facebook, shopping sites, banking – everything). Make sure to remove the phone number from these sites too. Save photos etc to somewhere new. Get a new phone contract while your credit is good. Change all your passwords. Don’t give him your new number.

Keep the old handset safe in case he’s paying for it on the contract and demands it back. But be wary he might be using it to track your movements so switch it off.

Lastly, put everything in writing to EE so there’s no doubt. You can do this in an email to customer service, copying yourself in for your own records.

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