Money and Divorce

[Dragonfly]

I’ve just woke up to an email from my solicitor. Basically my ‘husband’ has proposed (detail removed by moderator).  My solicitor is obv advising against this but my problem is he’s actually ‘entitled’ to a lot more money. Thousands more..

It’s my home. Lived here for (detail removed by moderator) yrs, he waa here for (detail removed by moderator) yrs. (Detail removed by moderator)  He’s said he could force bankruptcy on me! I’m financially independent, have a good job etc. Why does he want my son and I to be homeless??

His daughter lived with us for (detail removed by moderator) yrs some yrs ago (hell on earth). I supported her tho.

I don’t understand these men.

I have an appointment with my solicitor on Monday. I just needed to rant on here. Sorry. It’s as if his mental and physical abuse wasn’t enough he now wants every last bit of me and ultimately my sons inheritance ie my home!

[KIP.]

Dont listen to a word he says. Youre paying a solicitor lots of money to tell you what the LAW says, not him. They lie, bully, manipulate, threaten. Listen to proper legal advice and know that your ex has no empathy, no conscience. Mine tried to get his son and I out our home. Shocking behaviour.

[Dragonfly]

It is complete madness. And it’s my home. Not his. I stupidly added him to mortgage after I had my son. We split up and put home back into my sole name but that means nothing apparently. He’s just miffed now because he’s spent all his money and wants mine. I have no money. Unbelievable eh.

[KIP.]

Thats what happened to me. My ex stole tens of thousands and I stupidly thought he would just leave me alone and sign the house over as it was the fair thing to do. He left me alone until the money he hijacked ran out then he went to a solicitor and all the money he took was not taken into account. Dont rely in the law to help you out. It can only do so much and to go to court would have eaten up any equity left in my home. These men are dirty liars. They lie to their solicitors and the judges and have no remorse when caught and there is very little recourse through the legal system in my experience.

[KIP.]

Feel free to personal message me if you want to go into more detail x

[Confused123]

hey hun

these men are just so shocking with their stupid offers, speak to the solcitor and think careful before making a decsion, u have time to think it over, dont make no hasty decision

[cupcakes]

I don’t know what to say I’m going through hell at the moment so I don’t feel able to give advice I’m just so sorry your going through this.

I have to say I’m shocked at what some men will do and I struggle to understand why.

Didn’t not want to reply I hope your solicitor can sort it out on Monday for you

X

[Falling Skys]

Hi and hugs

These men will cut their nose off the spite their face to hurt us, they don’t care if it will make their children homeless.

I would say that your solicitor knows what you are entitled go with what they say.

Good luck. FS xx

[Serenity]

Ditto. I went through that.

It’s like they want to squeeze every shilling out of you- and dance of into the sunset with plenty for themselves.

My ex would have been delighted if I had been left homeless and penniless- even though he was the one who had money stashed away and I had always been honest and giving towards him.

It’s like all the years you put in looking after them and their children counts for nothing. It doesn’t even mean you deserve respect.

It’s hard to comprehend their mentality. I’ve struggled myself with this. The conclusion I have come Tonia that they are either bitter and want to make you suffer, or they are self-centred that your needs are of little importance in comparison to their own.

These abusers are good at making the most outlandish claims seem possible, which can frighten us, because they believe in their own importance and their inflated confidence on trying to get what they want can make us feel jittery. But the good thing is, the court doesn’t see their selfishness as reasonable. The court will need to consider the needs of you and any children- so don’t worry. Don’t let him put the fear of God into you. He won’t get away with his outlandish claims.

It’s hurtful when our abusers treat us like this- like we count for nothing. But it’s a pattern that all abusers follow. They put themselves first. But we can fight for our rights. They really don’t live in the real world.

[Dragonfly]

Thank you for all the replies. It’s appreciated. Time to put the logical hat on and stop letting his threats get to me

All I’ve done is try help people and what I get in return is two exes trying to destroy me. Makes no sense.

Tomorrow’s another day. Hopefully we can come up with a realistic solution and I can get rid. My son isn’t keen on seeing his dad now either. He knows some of what’s going on but he’s not stupid and is obv feeling and seeing things for himself. Why his dad thinks he can use our son as a bargaining tool is beyond me. All he can see is £££signs.

[Ayanna]

Do not listen to your solicitor alone
Also ask Rights of Women and the CAB.
If it is your home and he moved in later you should be able to keep it.
I have experienced the horrors of the Family Court.
They treat women in the most awful way. I wish I had known what I know now.
Be clever.
Do not let him have anything.

[Dragonfly]

Hi

My solicitor has put things into perspective and calmed down the madness. He’s kickin’ a** now 😀

It was my home and he did move in then I ejected him after abuse.

Things are on the up now

[Confused123]

wow hun thats great , its amaxing how much clearer we can think when solciitors put things into prescpetive for us

[Serenity]

Great, Dragonfly.

These abusers all try their luck in taking what’s not theirs.

The most important word we will ever learn to utter to our abusers is ‘No’!

[Author]

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