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    • #15409
      Whathaveidone
      Participant

      We out to eat and he said I should leave some food on my plate otherwise the restaurant staff would think I’m a ‘hungry hippo’. He had his own meal (which was lager than mine) and he ate some of mine too. I wasn’t even going to eat it all, I was full anyway but I just hate the name calling. It’s unecessary.

      He also keeps describing strangers ‘autistic’ because they do things he doesn’t like e.g. walking too slowly, smoking near him or near their own children. I’ve told him that I don’t like him calling people autistic especially because my brother has autism. Autism is a real disability; it’s not their fault that they have a disability. People who choose to, for example, smoke near him aren’t doing it because they are autistic, they are smoking because they want to. Yes he may not like it and we may not agree that it’s the right thing to do especially with children around but that is a choice they have made – it’s none of our business. It does not make them autistic.

      He tried to justify his point back – I did not want an argument as we were in public so I just went quiet but now at home he’s said something agiain about how he thinks all people are stupid and he has no space for stupid people, liars and some lady in a supermaket who he again called autistic. She was not. She was a young average lady just selling fruit and veg. He had a disagreement with her about whether some of the egeatbles were fresh (he thought they weren’t) but it was all light hearted. Now we’re at home he’s bringing up this pointless issue up again and calling her autistic which is making me really angry. Autism is not a word he can just throw about and use as some sort of adjective to describe his limited, selfish thinking. It is a disability and it just makes me angry and upset that he thinks he can just use the word as he so wishes – even after I’ve told him I don’t like it.

    • #15416
      Millionpieces
      Participant

      My ex always have negative comment about others like he above anybody else where he’s not. I always told him it is not right to do that but never work.. Something is definitely wrong with the way their brain works.

      • #15510
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        It’s eveyone and everything he has to comment on – and I mean criticise. He tells me he is not criticising; he is “critiquing” but I never hear the positive bit. I can’t even watch a film without him criticising everything that happens every 30 seconds, read a newpaper aticle without criticism, go outside without criticism – I can’t do anything without criticism or a negative comment yet he turns around and blames ME for being too negative and sensitive about things! I have 100% had enough.

      • #15535
        Escaped not free
        Participant

        My partner was exactly the same. After talking to family and trying to work out why I was feeling so low and such a failure at everything I just observed him for a while. Literally everything that came out of his mouth was negative and belittling…the entire world is out of sink with them yet in company he’s mr charm and humour…always at someone else’s expense. he had to be putting someone down all the time. It’s so sad. X

    • #15420
      Moonflower1
      Participant

      I think it just makes them feel better about themselves if they point out others faults. They are so insecure that if they put everyone down it make them fell better about themselves. I’ve got to the point where I can’t undress in front of him as he would make comments about my body. Thinks like ‘your tummy isn’t getting any smaller’ ‘Oh look at your jelly belly” If I challenge him he says its just a bit of harmless banter and that I should lighten up but it really effects me. I don’t have the best body in the world after 3 children but for my age i think its fairly good but I’ve just lost all body confidence. What annoys me more is that he is very overweight and when I say this to him he just says ‘well i’m just telling you so that you don’t end up like me’ But I would never dream about saying cruel things to him about his size.

      • #15509
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        moonflower, I’m experiencing the same. I’m not sure if you’ve read my other name calling post but I point out similar things to what you’ve just said.

        I can’t dress/undress in fornt of him either without a comment like ‘look at my cute baby whale’, ‘look at those those THIGHS!’, ‘you’re getting a pot belly’ etc etc. Can I just point out that I’m actually quite skinny (unhealthily underweight because he likes ‘slim’ women – I cannot eat or cook what I want when I’m with him).
        Or if I do dress / undress he takes it as an invitation to grope me and coerce me into having having sex with him.

    • #15524
      godschild
      Participant

      They love to make comments to demean us and then say it was only a joke and that we have no sense of humour.

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