Mr nice guy

[Starmoon]

Despite our ups and downs and all the huge dramas from the past, and even his recent lie (which he blamed me for). The day before he actually left, he was telling me how much I’m the love of his life, how he’d be lost without me, he doesn’t want anyone els… blah blah… then suddenly there’s an argument that seems to erupt from nothing and he’s gone. He ALWAYS says the same thing, that he hasn’t left because of the argument but rather that he’s been miserable with me for months, that I make his life hell… but if that were the case, why would he tell me the rest of the time how much he loved me and how happy he was. Once we’ve reconciled after these arguments I’ve said to him that it seems he must compile every little thing he believes I do that’s wrong, add it to an imaginary list of reasons to end it with me and then eventually blow his top and go… like he’s thinking ‘one more time she messes up and I’m gone’… but I can’t know that I’m messing up because if little situations seem to get resolved and I think I’m forgiven for what ever has bothered him, how do I know that I’m on my last warning as such?!
Anyway the day he left me this time (I’ve posted about it els where) was the day a close family member of mine died, and also the day I found out I’m pregnant. It wasn’t an entirely unplanned pregnancy either. When we first got back together (detail removed by Moderator) ((detail removed by Moderator) and I was stupid enough to fall for it again- that’s another one).. we talked about having another baby, planned it to the last detail and time we’d start trying… then out of the blue he told me he’d booked in to get the snip. I was devastated… but I accepted his reasons and started getting used to the idea of no more, even planned going back to work. Then suddenly he said he did want more… so he canceled his appointment and stopped using contraception… that seems pretty solid to me. But when I found out, his first line was (detail removed by Moderator)… shocked by this I said no- what I wanted was a partner who would love and support me, but it doesn’t seem like you want to be that from that comment. I suggested he go back to his flat (we didn’t live together) and if he was feeling angry or upset about anything, to text it to himself until he’d had time to calm down. I said if he hadn’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything… when we’d had counseling, she’d suggested we text ourself instead of bombarding each other, that way we have an outlet and sometimes once we’ve done that, we’ve calmed down and things don’t seem to bad and haven’t escalated either… he wasn’t haven’t any of that though. He asked if I was keeping it… and I said of corse! We both said we wanted more.. he said yes but not now… so I asked why he’d done it then?! He’d said mostly he was drunk but he’d also changed his mind and didn’t want anymore anyway- that we had two. Then he said if I was keeping it we are over and he wanted nothing to do with it. I don’t remember the order of things after that because it got heated. He shot up into the loft to get his case and pack… at that stage I kept telling him to leave – he doesn’t live here, just had allot of stuff here. I said he could get this things later but I wanted him out after what he’d said. He wouldn’t leave so I called the police. He then recorded me… he’s done that so many times. I don’t really care about the record, it’s my house and if I was asking him to leave- I wasn’t doing anything wrong was I? So I don’t seem the point of it. Since then I haven’t spoken to him and want to be away from him… but now he’s pulling the nice guy act. He’s text my parents saying he will be there for this baby, like the other two children, how he will financially support the children and he wants to help me as much as he can… but then he’s clarified that he’s done with me and we’re over for good. I’m not upset that it’s over as such… but upset that it all comes across like he tried his best to be with me and to make it work… and now he’s doing the rite thing… like it’s all just that simple. And then today he sent a msg to my daughter (detail removed by Moderator). She’s still very young, only just reading… she msgs my parents and has msged me and him when we were together on (detail removed by Moderator). He sent it to (detail removed by Moderator) knowing I’d see it… he just said he loves her and her sister no matter what happens.
I don’t want him to msg her. I think he knows she’s too young to reply without me knowing. And I don’t want to be involved with him. I know I’ll have to arrange contact and I know my children love him because he showers them with attention for the short time he deals with them… but sending her a msg just doesn’t seem rite.

[KIP.]

He’s going to play bigger games now. The more you try to cut him out of your life. The more he’s going to try to get back in, he will play the victim to anyone who will listen to him. I would advise you to get court ordered visitation for him. Otherwise he will use the children as a means of contact and control. You’ve done nothing wrong. You deserve a peaceful life x

[Starmoon]

Thank you. I couldn’t kick myself! I took him back because (detail removed by Moderator)… I think there was a part of me that thought the law was saying it was ok for him to physically and mentally abuse me… and what he’d done wasn’t so bad. I still feel that way. I do believe the police did all they could and were so lovely (more than can be said for my local force) but anyway… he must’ve known that.. and wormed his way back into my life… but until that point.. I had means to say that contact with the children wasn’t allowed… and even once it was- it was on safe terms. Now I don’t have a leg to stand on in going to court… In fact he’d pull out all the stops and suggest I was mentally un stable- because at times, I have been (due to the ways he’s treated me). I just can’t believe how easy it’s been for me to fall for him again. Now he’s back to this place of looking like mr perfect and I look like the n****r

[Confused123]

Hey Hun

Try and get support from a support worker to break the contact with him , he sounds insecure and unsure of what
he wants and is playing with your feelings at the same time

[Starmoon]

But if he’s insecure then it really makes me feel I’m tk balme :,(

[Author]

Posts