Viewing 14 reply threads
  • Author
    • #146633

      Just wanted to share a few positive things since leaving that I can do with no repercussions:

      • Make noise in the morning!
      • Choose when to be intimate
      • Be late home without having to justify and prove why!
      • Watch tv in peace- actually watch it without constant verbal abuse
      • Honestly leaving an abusive relationship was hard but staying was harder – I was so depressed and slowly died inside.
        Things are not easy now – myself and children are still suffering but there is hope.

    • #146634

      I love reading these posts they keep me going they keep reminding me on bad days that there is another way and people do get out.
      Thank you enjoy those wins they sound great.
      Id love to be able to sit and have a coffee without worrying when hes home if he sees me sitting down what mood is he in?
      Thats gonna be my dream moment.
      Thank you for posting xxxx

    • #146636

      same I love reading them too, really brightens my day up, it’s amazing how such little things most people do naturally are just huge things we get so happy at being able to do and the freedom of being out is like breathing in fresh air everyday, well done, keep thriving 🤗💐🤗

    • #146671

      • I look forward to weekends and special occasions again, get up when we want and do what we want to
      • I can wear my PJ’s all day if I like
      • I can cook what I like and what I know the kids will eat – no more too spicy!
      • I can sit in silence and actually relax
      • I don’t have to deal with drink & drugs anymore
      • my home is clean and tidy and stays that way
      • I know my bills will be paid and my money is mine
      • I can plan ahead without anxiety of what’s going to ruin it

      We laugh again.x

    • #147231

      My positive things that I can do now that I couldn’t before I left him:
      I can talk to my children whenever I want, we can laugh, we can sing, we can muck about and be silly, we can watch a kids movie, I can buy them whatever I want without getting ‘permission’ or being made to feel guilty about it. I couldn’t even buy them a deodorant without having to justify it – ‘they get too much, they get everything they want!!’ he’d say.
      I was so sick of hearing about the ‘pecking order’ and that he wasn’t going to be any lower on it!
      When I put them to bed he was so jealous of my relationship with them that he would say, why were you so long, what about our ‘quality time’, ‘what did ‘she’ want this time, what have you been talking about all this time?!’ This would be like literally 10 minutes and in the end I would rush to get back down to him and brush the kid off. Well no more – he doesn’t have the right to change my relationships with my children or anyone else. I can speak to who I want, when I want, for as long as I want. In fact I can take as long as I want to do my hair, to get ready for work, to go to the gym, be late home from work, anything I want, YES!

      • #147239

        Omg yes I had that with the kids – why did it take so long, what about our quality time (as he sat there on his tech ignoring me), I stopped reading to my eldest and singing a special song we had just to please him. You’re so right! x

    • #148049

      The best moment for me is to be able to go home after work and not sit in my car for hours

    • #148990

      I’ve just favored this post because I’m finding it incredibly up lifting hearing that life is in fact greener on the other side and it’s helping me to stop being afraid to make a move to leave and have total freedom again to be me, be myself and be a better version of myself for my children.

      please continue this on x

    • #148995

      I can leave the washing up until the morning. I can have honest chats with my sons without having to whisper because they’re afraid their Dad will hear. I can wear things that have been made for me by other people’s children who wanted to thank me for something. I can choose clothes without running them by anybody else first (removed by moderator). I can chat online with friends without anyone eavesdropping at the door. I can say what I like. I can grow what I like in my own garden. I can have a pet AND the pet sleeps on my bed! I have an allotment. I can go to bed safely at night. I can decorate how I like. I can play games on my phone. I can plan my own day. Or I can do nothing all day. I can go on….. 😂

    • #149043

      What lovely posts. I agree with almost everything you have all said. All of the above and just lots of peace, no fear and just freedom! love to you all!

    • #150149

      Loved reading these – so happy to hear

    • #150152

      I can now go out without having to sexually do something with him to earn an evening out
      I have changed my style and feel better than I have in years
      My general health is getting better including blood pressure and asthma
      I no longer feel like I am walking on eggshells
      Children and I are closer, laugh and talk more
      I am getting more interests going
      Soon I am going on my first meetup friendship group 😁

    • #162909

      Since leaving

      – Calmness
      – No justifying talking to men ie any man such as work contractors, plumbers etc all day
      – No violence
      – No screaming
      – No harassment
      – Quietness
      – Financial decisions are mine.
      – Having to deal with traumatic things at home.

    • #162969

      I love this!! ❤️

      I’m newly ‘free’ and still have a long way to go, but when I get my own place to live again I will enjoy:

      *Watching what I want on TV, when I want to.
      *Having discussions with my daughter about what’s on TV.
      *Going to bed when I want to.
      *Getting up when I want to.
      *Buying and wearing what I want, including make-up if I want to.
      *Having dinner when I want, eating what I want and not forcing my daughter to eat things she doesn’t like.
      *Seeing my family.
      *Talking to friends when I want to.
      *Going for days out, doing things I like doing and leaving when I want to.
      *Relaxing, feeling calm, no pressure or worries.
      *Getting a decent night’s sleep!!!

      Keep this thread going, it’s inspiring and uplifting 💖 xx

    • #163044

      So sorry for replying so late in the date!! But I’m new ere. This is magical ✨️ to read. I newly out. So u no where I’m at. It’s so reassuring and wonderful to affirm what I can’t wait 😍 for!! Alonewolf this as really cheered me up. Big love to u ❤️ all.x*x

    • #163092

      I’m enjoying logic and reason instead of gaslighting and nonsense.
      I’m enjoying being me instead of being used.

Viewing 14 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content