27th February 2016 at 1:03 pm #10579
In an earlier post I’ve just noticed when I reread it that I have worded something wrong I have a picture which says I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul and that’s it my fate is in my hands
couple of they girls that come to cover for people being off where I work are always lecturing me for being on my own ,one says by staying single he (MY EX ) has won ,the other said your missing out on the chance to be happy ,rubbish ,I was bullied at school sexually abused by my father ,bullied at work and abused by my husband so now to break the cycle of abuse I’m staying single ,recently worked with a guy who was nice one minute and the next wouldn’t speak to me if I said anything he not like ,last year he rang me in the eve and as I not return his call he had a right go at me the next day ,I know that I can’t live with a man for fear of saying the wrong thing in case he goes off on one ,that’s nothing to do with my ex but a guy I met after so I have control now ,the power to do what I want and no man on this earth will ever take that away from me ,bit older and wiser now can see what men are like oh sure there are some nice men out there but not going to see lots of men till I find the right one ,keep smiling ladies all of us can control our own fate our own destiny x
27th February 2016 at 1:48 pm #10587Falling SkysParticipant
Well said xx
I feel that I need to find out who I am, and learn to love me.
Once I have done that who knows. As I say I’m not anti men I’m anti abusers.
I was quiet proud of myself today. When the question of my relationship status was being questioned. I said single but unavailable.
And no one will ever be in the position to take my home from me again.
You know you best, good luck with you journey.
27th February 2016 at 2:47 pm #10593AyannaParticipant
You are not alone in this. I decided to stay free from men too. I do not like men anymore. All I ever knew from men was abuse. They are the problem makers on this earth. They are the cause of wars, hunger, slavery, suppression, …
I do not like them. I was abused too much and too often and I have enough of them once and for all.
27th February 2016 at 3:07 pm #10595
so true as I have been treated like sh*t by every man in my life including my own father being engaged tw**e before meeting my ex is hard cos if they hadn’t dumped me I wouldn’t have met him so now it’s just me myself and I .oh not forgetting my 2 best pals x
27th February 2016 at 4:12 pm #10606SerenityParticipant
I have been in two/ three relationships with men who were unkind or abusive; my family of origin have bullied me in different ways: so it’s not just about men- I am not going to let bullies in, at all x
27th February 2016 at 8:58 pm #10634martian29Participant
Good for you. I think being on your own and finding yourself again is so much better than going into another relationship. After being abused, I think it is important to deal with the issues which led to us allowing ourselves to be put in that position in the first place. If we don’t deal with these issues it is likely that we may find ourselves repeatedly ending up in abusive relationships with partners, at work or with family members.
So sorry to hear you were sexually abused by your own father, bullied at school, bullied at work and then bullied by your husband. I can’t even begin to imagine how you have suffered at the hands of your own father but you have survived. You should be proud of yourself. I would ignore the comments from people outside who have never been in an abusive relationship. They are probably well meaning comments but you know best how you feel and whether you are ready to move on with another partner.
Not all men are abusive. I am lucky enough to have known some kind, caring, selfless, non-abusive men in my life so they do exist. Hopefully we will all get to meet them some day and we will look back on our posts in this forum as bad experience which we have overcome.
I wish you healing. Hugs X*X
28th February 2016 at 1:19 pm #10687
when I was on here couple of years ago ,someone said do we tell any new partners that we were abused and how do we know what’s normal and what’s abuse ,I can’t be shouted at my anyone as my father did it all the time ,and if I was with a guy and he raised his voice I would panic thinking is this it another bully, I have had friendships with one or two guys in the past few years ,who have told me I have issues regarding my ex when I wont do what they want ,so hard tho it is ,and it gets very hard I’m better off alone x
28th February 2016 at 11:11 pm #10723lover of no contactParticipant
My mum was the abuser in my family. My dad was a kind, gentle man.
Unfortunately out of 3 serious boyfriends I had, 2 were abusers of which I married one. But at least I did have the experience of a non-abusive boyfriend.
Abusers can be either man or woman. There is a very hard-core, cruel abuser in my work-place at the moment who happens to be a woman.
29th February 2016 at 9:56 am #10738
heard that said to me a few times if I say huh men ,guys will say women are just as bad ,and my mum thought nothing of smacking me for doing wrong ,both my parents would be locked up in this day and age for what they did to me ,most of the bullying in the workplace was done by women including one boss ,
it’s a wonder I’m still here to tell the tale after the life I’ve had x
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