My husband lied to the police

[maddog]

He had me arrested for punching him. I told the police that I didn’t think that is what happened and they told me that it was easier to accept a caution than to take it further, so I did as I was told.

Recently I asked my daughter about what she remembered about the night I was arrested, and she said I was shouting at my husband and waving my arms about. I asked my husband which bit of him I hit (detail removed by moderator) and he pointed to the same place. There was no mark, no bruising, no nothing, and no feeling in any part of my body that I had struck anyone.

(detail removed by moderator) My husband has lied to me, lied to the police, more than once, his petition for divorce is simply untrue (detail removed by moderator).

I have made several statements to the police about his behaviour, on the advice of the police. They have NFA’d him. This may be because I have said that if he comes home I am in more danger.

How does it work then? I get arrested for something I haven’t done and he gets away with some truly awful behaviour?

I reported an historic rape. This the police are taking interest in. I think I have blanked it from my mind. I did the video interview. I blamed myself. At the same time, I am reliving the horrible things my husband has done to me. I would not have got help from Rape Crisis with my husband’s behaviour. I would not have been referred to an ISVA with my husband’s behaviour.

Is it simply because I am a safe distance from the earlier incident? I reported it because I heard terrible things about the man involved and I felt it a responsibility. A woman I know told me she was groped by my husband. I heard her say it when it happened but I didn’t see anything. My husband denied it. At the time I still loved him and wanted to believe him. Oh fool am I. The woman says I didn’t believe her. I didn’t not believe her, but we never spoke again so I have no idea what happened.

[KIP.]

They are accomplished liars. Mine has lied to everyone I know including under oath to a Judge. Expect nothing less. This isn’t going to be a fair fight. The gloves are off. He will leave you with nothing if he can. If an occupation order is granted, you will have to leave the home. Make sure you have good legal advice. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice.

[maddog]

My solicitor said early on that lying goes with the territory regarding my husband. It would be my solicitor going for the occupation order. I cannot prepare the house for sale with my husband in it. Everything is easier without him. Others have said the same.

He may already have a police injunction against him, but I have no idea if I am able to verify it. He has banged on about other people with injunctions. When he rants and rails, I often think he is talking about himself.

[KIP.]

Have you used Claire’s law to check out his past. Be careful he doesn’t try to get you out with an exclusion order as you have been arrested in the past and have admitted to violence. They are nasty with no moral compass

[Ayanna]

Why would you admit to something you have not done?
They scaremongered you.
Do not accept the caution and let it go to court and insist that you have not done anything. You know the truth.
It might not even make it to the court in the end.

[maddog]

I told the police I didn’t think I had done what my husband said. My daughter recently told me she saw me shouting at my husband and waving my arms about. I was advised to accept the caution as the consequences could be worse. I was in shock and felt I had no choice. Will speak to WA and make a complaint to the police. They blindly believed what my husband said and I think it was easier forvthem to caution me than to ask any more questions. My husband has started treating my teenage child as an adult and has been behaving inappropriately (again). He behaves like a playground bully towards her.

[Ayanna]

Speak to Rights of Women.
Use their call back function.
If you are entitled to legal aid get a lawyer and fight this.

[maddog]

I am not entitled to legal aid.

[Falling Skys]

Sorry to hear the nightmare that you are going through, but abusers as we know will lie to the end. I can remember my ex was shouting at me and covering me in spit as I put my hand up to shield myself my hand touch him and he threaten me with the police. (as you see they turn every thing) I would say don’t doubt yourself you know you didn’t hit him (they have programmed us to believe their lies, so stay strong)

FS xx

[maddog]

Turning things round… My husband used to do this ALL THE TIME then blame me for doing it. It’ll cost me 2 grand to get an injunction against him. I have been trying my solicitor all day to speak about it. I am so fed up. Looking back, he has said all the time, In a Minute… meaning he can’t be bothered. He has always had better things to do than engage with me. Why, oh why didn’t I see the patterns earlier? Actually I know the answer to that. It was marriage guidance papering over the gaping holes.

[Author]

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